Knowing how to help my Husband...

My husband has not been diagnosed (and isn't sure yet if he wants to be), and I am struggling to understand what I can do to help him. He had never even considered that he could possibly have Aspergers until rescently. So it has been a big shock to him, I was not surprised when he told me the results he had got on an online ASD test though. I have talked to him about how he feels, and he has opened up to me lately, much more than he ever has done, but other than listening and trying to be supportive, I feel and (from our conversation last night) so does he, that I should be doing more to accomodate his behaviour. Previously I had put it down to being arrogant and at times uncaring. It is difficult to change the way I respond to him, even though I am now aware of what may be causing his behaviour. 

Parents
  • Hi Morgie

    I am a husband, who is going through a process of Aspergers diagnosis.

    I sound similar to your husband (we also have an 11 year old son with AS).

    Until recently, my behaviour drove my wife to wanting to end our 13 year marriage.

    She could not take my mood swings, arrogance and impulsiveness any more.

    I love my wife an family dearly, and this coming to a head gave me the kick up the @rse i needed to do something.

    My advice is thus..

    Your husband has to help himself...no one else can do it for him

    Make it clear to him that he needs to do something if you are to survive as a married unit.

    Be open an honest with each other.

    One further point is that i was never a big drinker, but since i have stopped completely i am feeling so much stronger. AS/Aspergers especially do not go well with Alcohol IMHO

Reply
  • Hi Morgie

    I am a husband, who is going through a process of Aspergers diagnosis.

    I sound similar to your husband (we also have an 11 year old son with AS).

    Until recently, my behaviour drove my wife to wanting to end our 13 year marriage.

    She could not take my mood swings, arrogance and impulsiveness any more.

    I love my wife an family dearly, and this coming to a head gave me the kick up the @rse i needed to do something.

    My advice is thus..

    Your husband has to help himself...no one else can do it for him

    Make it clear to him that he needs to do something if you are to survive as a married unit.

    Be open an honest with each other.

    One further point is that i was never a big drinker, but since i have stopped completely i am feeling so much stronger. AS/Aspergers especially do not go well with Alcohol IMHO

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