Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I'm a 47 year old male and was diagnosed with autism in May of this year after struggling all my life with depression and anxiety. I've always felt 'different' and 'odd' and it explains a lot. For over a decade running (especially trail running, where I'm usually totally alone for hours) has helped me cope.
Initially my diagnosis was a relief as it explained a lot about my issues but longer term it's left me feeling quite conflicted as I've always pushed myself to be 'social' and not to give in to my anxieties. Now I find myself in a position where I struggle not to use it as an excuse and it's also knocked my confidence (even in my ability to run).
I just wondered what experiences others have had after receiving a diagnosis as an adult, especially as I've had no support/advice since receiving my diagnosis.
Congrats on your diagnosis. I would say that you need time. You might have the answer to your past issues, but you don’t know what to do with it. I was diagnosed in March, I’m 49. I’m still adapting, and sometimes I feel like I’m not Autistic. I’m still finding out what is me, and what is Autism, so I get your predicament. I think you learn as you go on. I started by taking off my mask little by little. Saying ‘no’ more, putting myself first, saying what I want rather than hiding and agreeing, small steps. Just go with the flow. Persevere with the ‘me time’. It’s very important. I found intensive CBT useful, as it helped kick start my the motivation I lost after getting my diagnosis.
Thanks Catlover, I did a lot of therapy due to a trauma I suffered both as I child and an adult which was thought to be the source of my anxiety and depression.
This was before my diagnosis but certainly improved my mental health a lot.
I'll definitely take your advise on board and will probably revisit therapy with the knowledge of my diagnosis.
I've been 'removing' my mask a little at home and talking to my wife about how everyday things and how they affect me (although I've always hidden it before). She's been very supportive, but I don't think she quite 'gets it' yet.