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I hate myself

NAS83027

I just need to say this.

I hate myself. I hate the fact that I am not normal. I hate the fact that I don't understand sarcasm or jokes and I hate the fact that I seem to lack any sort of social awareness. 

If there was a cure for autism I would take it in a heart beat. I would love to be normal and not feel as though I am being awkward. Maybe I would make more friends, maybe I would feel happier inside, maybe I wouldn't feel like such a disappointment. Maybe I would feel better and not feel as thought I have to disclose it on job applications.

I always have at the back on my mind that if people knew I was autistic I wouldn't have a chance in having a job cause all they would see is the diagnosis.

I hope this hasn't offended anyone. 

I have never wrote on a platform like this I just needed to say something.

Parents

  • You're not alone. I felt like the a lot when I was younger. Life was such a struggle, and back then I had no idea why. Since then I've learned to embrace my weirdness and though it's still very hard to make friends, there are some people who understand and it helps. There are some employers who do value autistic traits- in nerdy profesions or working with other neurodivergent people. 

    Emotions can be very overwhelming, and they are real but they pass too. Hang in there. Keep learning, find your speciality and it does get better.

Reply

  • You're not alone. I felt like the a lot when I was younger. Life was such a struggle, and back then I had no idea why. Since then I've learned to embrace my weirdness and though it's still very hard to make friends, there are some people who understand and it helps. There are some employers who do value autistic traits- in nerdy profesions or working with other neurodivergent people. 

    Emotions can be very overwhelming, and they are real but they pass too. Hang in there. Keep learning, find your speciality and it does get better.

Children
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