Unsatisfactory recent NHS assessment leaving me with more questions than answers

I am an adult female, 48, who has just had a remote assessment funded by the NHS but carried out by a private company I think to reduce the waiting list times.  I felt really lucky to be seen more quickly than waiting for a face to face assessment but the experience hasn't been satisfactory and has left me feeling low and confused. I prepared thoroughly for the assessment and have read a lot of books about autism.  I feel convinced that I have autism after reading about the experiences of other adult females but I know it can be really tricky to get diagnosed unless the clinician has the right knowledge and experience dealing with adult females.  My assessment was in 2 parts with a different clinician for each part.  The first doctor said that she thought I was autistic and would write a report to say so.  The doctor for the second part was a consultant psychiatrist who said that he wasn't convinced and that anxiety was the issue although I had autistic traits.  HIs recommendation was to try different medication and a higher dose, although I've tried that before and it doesn't change anything.  As he's the consultant he isn't going to take the first doctor's opinion into account and said that she was asking me leading questions!  This leaves me in limbo!  I have read that you are either autistic or not on a spectrum and that you can't have autistic traits unless you are autistic.  Also, I don't want to be fobbed off by being called simply anxious, which is what people have told me my whole life, but I want to understand more the reasons for the anxiety, things I have worked hard over the last year with my therapist to find out and have really helped me.  Sorry to rant but I'm so angry and would love to know if anyone else has had a similar experience and if they have any advice for me.  Also, should I consider a second opinion but I guess I would have to pay privately for this.  Many thanks.