Nuisance neighbour

My Autistic son  and I moved home 8 months ago and the old guy next door won’t accept the fact that my son’s stimming is not something I can stop, not even for my neighbour’s comfort, which appears to rule! 
How do I speak to the housing agency who would like me to be sympathetic to my neighbour’s wife, who apparently has a heart condition. 
It enrages me that an older man would like my son to cease to be disabled for HIS comfort! 
I have handed them literature that explains stimming and that it is an involuntary reaction, but they want yet another meeting! 
I’m at my wits’ end!

The guy hammers ar my door but I refuse to engage with him, I’ve explained all he needs to know, but he is still demanding I put an end to what amounts as a healthy expression  of my son’s joy!

do you have any advice I can use before this Wednesday meeting?

  • What is the meeting on Wednesday and with whom?  If he really is "hammering" on your door that could amount to harassment. Speak to your housing officer about it.

  • I assume that he is making noise which the neighbours deem to be excessively loud or excessive in duration? Is he making noise all hours of the day and night? If so read your local council’s page about how they investigate noise nuisance which may give you an idea of what they may bring up at the meeting. Yes they shouldn’t be discriminating against disability but on the other hand their health could actually be at a detriment, especially if the lady actually does have a heart condition, (some can actually be life threatening if the person is made to jump from a shock or loud noise and others excessively worsened by lack of sleep) and not just a case of a grumpy man not wanting to hear any noise at all from next door. I would think very carefully and put yourself in their shoes before you meet. Tread carefully, driving a bigger wedge between you both by getting angry with them won’t help anybody at all, I understand you want to fight for your son but some of your language in this post is making me wonder whether  you may not be dealing with the situation in a level headed manner which could be turned around on you and labelled as unnecessarily aggressive. Don’t let them find fuel to evict you or twist things to turn other neighbours against you as well

  • Raise the question of discrimination on the grounds of disability with your housing association. Put the onus on them to engage with and educate your neighbour.

  • I find it very difficult to imagine what kind of stim could possibly have any sort of affect on a neighbour...I know a few of mine alarmed my husband when I was in distress, but the neighbours would never know and it would present no harm to them if they did. What is he doing exactly that could in anyway bother anyone?