Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm 41 years old, I've spent most of my life living in my own imagination because I was bullied regularly from a very young age. Had a job in my twenties but decided to quit because I wanted to spend more time thinking (in hindsight, not a clever move). I enjoy solitude but lately I find myself feeling unloved. If I'm able to find a way to stop procrastinating and learn the social skills I should have learned as a teenager, I hope someday to find someone to cuddle up on the sofa with.
Recently I've gotten a support worker who has encouraged me to go to the support groups run by the organization she works for and this has helped me to come out from under my shell a little bit, so I've decided to create an account here in hopes of finding other people who might understand me and maybe even make a few friends.
Welcome
I enjoy newly discovered solitude too, I live alone for almost 3 years now
It's nice being alone, no distractions, but human contact is nice too. Thanks for the welcome.
I'd say its both, some times I daydream about the person I wish I could be, other times I'm thinking about things I would like to make if I could get out of my head for long enough to work on them. Other times I day dream about things that are missing from my life (love, confidence, social life, sex, etc... I also do this for 6+ hours a day, so I think that maybe it is my special interest. Its also triggered by my senses, I have fantasies/day dreams attached to various songs, or a social interaction usually leads to me re running the interaction in my head contemplating what I could/would/should have said/done and what the outcome would be if I had.
are you saying your Special Interest is Daydreaming?
Mine is Thinking, it's very close
Basically I was tired of having to be around people and I've always been happier daydreaming. So I quit my job to be around people less and have more time to daydream about stuff I'd like to accomplish with my life.
It would be if you quit the job to get better, because you felt so completely depleted with everyday reality you were no longer able to make yourself to go to work
'time to myself' is it your way of concealing that? there is no need to do that on this forum, everyone here went through some trauma probably (I did), and will understand, plus everyone has to be here undercover/incognito :P website rules
and if you want to learn about what it means to be autistic it helps to be as clear about everything about the subject of conversation as possible, otherwise you might get zero comments, if people decide they are unable to desipher it, we are not very good at innuendo
Maybe, I'm not really familiar with the terminology but I guess me quitting my job so I'd have more time to myself could be described as burnout.
biggest plus is no need to mask
are you aware that constant masking eventually leads to autistic burnout?