New but "Old" and Confused

So, I'm a new member so I figured that I should introduce myself.

I was diagnosed ASD (Asperger's) two years ago, just a couple of weeks before my 50th birthday.  In some ways it has been a relief to finally understand some of my past behaviours and issues - the ones that made me feel anxious but appeared to others as just being awkward.  Some of the lifetime's worth of guilt lifted, I understand why I like being alone, get obsessed with topics, have to read up on subjects just so that I *know*...

Covid has been amazing for me.  Social distancing was something I had been practicing for my entire life.  Work From Home... bring it on.  Anxiety levels plummeted.  yet now, everyone is expecting normal again - although WFH is still happening for 4 days per week.

However, there's a flip and it's partly why I'm here.  Who am I? Really, who?  My entire identity feels like it's been stripped away.  I no longer know how I'm supposed to act etc (although I also understand that's not really a question).  I'm not shy about telling people I'm autistic - I work in the NHS so it's easy to be open in that sense. But my neuro-divergent brain needs to understand how neuro-divergent people are supposed to behave... I now worry that I'm coming across as playing on it, justifying bad behaviour or attitude as my autism when in reality it's not and perhaps others still think I'm taking the piss or something...

So anyway, "Hi" to anyone who reads this.

PS Yeah, oversharing and overanalysing. I know ;)

Parents
  • sounds like a case of that "impostor syndrome" rearing its head mate

     doing it a bit myself to be honest, though im only in referral stage, but you as a person dont have to behave any differently just because your diagnosed 

    although yeah, if theres aspects you want to change after realising theyve been a problem all your life then fair play 

    but its just not worth worrying about that in honesty, your still the same person regardless of it.

Reply
  • sounds like a case of that "impostor syndrome" rearing its head mate

     doing it a bit myself to be honest, though im only in referral stage, but you as a person dont have to behave any differently just because your diagnosed 

    although yeah, if theres aspects you want to change after realising theyve been a problem all your life then fair play 

    but its just not worth worrying about that in honesty, your still the same person regardless of it.

Children
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