Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm Phoenix. Was officially diagnosed when I was 14. I was still at school then which was difficult because of the amount of people and noise there. I don't do too well with people and noise. It's a huge sensory overload for me. Still, did all right at school. Lessons were a piece of cake and no one dared pick on me. Had some issues in the middle of my teens and a few years later this led to mental health doctors getting involved..... Life's been up and down since then. In and out of hospital. Constantly being badgered by different professionals and under care, if you can call it that, from the mental health teams. On and off medications for the mental health, suicide, harming, anxiety, depression and so on. I personally feel I help myself better than any of the medication they tell me to take. One of the things I love to do and makes me feel a lot better inside is painting. I've been doing this since school and got some new paints for my 25th b-day from my mum. Yay. Painting for me is so relaxing and it's a good way of letting out frustration as well, just take it out on the canvas with the paint. I love the smell of paint as well. Normally most smells cause a sensory overload but not my paints thankfully. I paint every day in my room, don't go out all that much, usually end up in trouble if I do so I stay in. Nothing interesting out there anyway. I like music as well but only if it's on very quiet. I have a big interest in fire, and I suppose an interest in people as well in a way.
Anyway this is longer than intended so I'll break off now.
Doctors would happily keep us drugged permanently in mental asylum under observation
I struggle on my own away from that
there isn't many among us with improved smell, I could tell colleague by smell in my previous job, not the most pleasant thing
or they don't experiment to find out
Yes you're right they really would. Every time I go to my doctor they just send me in to the asylum (hospital). Don't even try to help.
I hope you're doing ok yourself? I'm here anytime if you need to talk about anything. Got to look out for each other.
All the best.
thank you, I rather avoid using someone to rant and do it on public forum, but atm I don't have a need to do it. I'm much better than a year ago, I decided to continue struggle in November
talking works better for me if done about something specific. I would like to hear about your paininting experience tough, and how improved smell fits in
That's good. I try not to but it builds up and I feel I need to get it off my chest. I'm glad you kept going. Shows resilience and strength in you.
Painting is something I get absorbed by. Like I go to another place for a short time and all my worries and problems can't follow me there. The smell is calming. Relaxing. Like a scented perfume or candle. If it's a dark day I get lost in the paints and that gets me through it.