Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
My name is Lee, I have just joined, am trying to get to grips with how everything here works in terms of finding/joining groups.
Due to a very long history of masking/faking things/ increasingly isolating myself from social situations - plus my only direct family and best friend all passing away many years ago, and failed romantic relationships in the distant past, I am very isolated/lonely in the 'real' world, and have struggled with depression on multiple occasions. My professional/work life has been fine, but my personal/social life has been completely decimated.
I am looking for some advice on how to find others with similar interests/join groups - on here, but also if anyone has experience of finding 'real life' groups they can join/feel part of a real interactive community, with others of a similar nature?
I am, and always have been, awful at 'real life' conversations (outside of e.g. work topics/tasks) - often silent/extremely quiet for extended periods, or relying on others to drive where I can occasionally chip in with something, but quite articulate when I can take time to write things down. As such, finding groups (or individuals) where I am not 'focused on'/under pressure, or can undertake group activities/watch events together are ideal. I really like being around other people and care for them, I just can't articulate this/ socialize well in the traditional sense.
I am thinking I may have left all of this too late in life/have lost opportunities that may have existed if I had flagged things much sooner, but am now determined to at least try to make some changes/see what is possible. I am doing my own research, and have recently joined a local (Merseyside) autism Facebook group, but struggling to find any other ways to interact with/meet people in real life as well as online.. (which itself is still a great start!)
Many thanks for any help/suggestions
Hi Lee, welcome to the site. Firstly I'd say it's never too late to improve your social life and meet friends. I'm 44 and without having any friends in nearly 25 years I have recently made an acquaintance that looks promising to develop in to a friend. I've found it takes a lot of perseverance and also challenging negative thought and behavior patterns. You have to believe you have something to offer and the right people will notice it. I would say becoming a familiar face helps as well. In the past I would try something once or twice then decide it wasn't for me, then wonder why I never made connections.
I'm sure you've made a great first step by posting on here and joining a group in your local area. Good luck.