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Isn't it AITA that I didn't invite my autistic sibling to my art show?

NAS79626

In a nutshell, my sister is autistic. She is extremely intelligent (she attended an Ivy League school!) but struggles with social cues. This usually results in her dismissing me and being rude. My parents always tell me to get over it and that she can't help herself because she's autistic. But she doesn't let loose on others in the same way she does on me, so I don't think they get it. She just spits on it/me whenever something wonderful occurs to me, and she never, ever apologizes.

Parents

  • Autistic people can be also be unpleasant people, but the former does not lead to the latter. Most autistic people who do not have intellectual disability, make a genuine attempt to treat others well. Even though we do not pick up on social cues very accurately, if we are told that we have upset someone, we apologise and try to modify our behaviour. Sounds like your sister has some animus against you personally. You do not need to accept this as merely the product of her autism. If you tell her plainly and accurately the effect her behaviour has on you, then the social blindness disappears and that excuse also disappears.

Reply

  • Autistic people can be also be unpleasant people, but the former does not lead to the latter. Most autistic people who do not have intellectual disability, make a genuine attempt to treat others well. Even though we do not pick up on social cues very accurately, if we are told that we have upset someone, we apologise and try to modify our behaviour. Sounds like your sister has some animus against you personally. You do not need to accept this as merely the product of her autism. If you tell her plainly and accurately the effect her behaviour has on you, then the social blindness disappears and that excuse also disappears.

Children
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