New aspergers parent

Hi mum36 - welcome to the site.  Lots of info on the posts + via the home pg.  About school :  there are a number of posts from parents who say their child lets out all their frustrations from the school day when they get home!  It may be that's what's happening with him, despite you trying your best, the provision he gets in school may not be suitable.   As he isn't diagnosed yet I suppose the extra support he shd be getting at school cd be lacking??  4 - 7 years for a diagnosis is terrible.  I could hardly believe what I was reading.  He cd be ready for secondary school before he is diagnosed + children with autism appear to have more difficulties coping with secondary.   Don't just accept that, keep on at them, see your mp, whatever it takes to get it speeded up.   If you haven't check out the home pg about diagnosis/schooling etc.  There's also the ipsea site which I think relates to educational issues.

 Does he have a day to day routine at home + is he treated consistently by yourself + your husband?  That can make a big difference.  A lot of people don't understand about autism.  They look at an autistic child + see a non-autistic child + react accordingly.  It can be difficult to explain to people, especially if they aren't willing to learn/understand, especially as you haven't got a diagnosis yet.  It makes things tougher for all concerned.  My son has a sensitivity to certain sounds.  I explain it to people by asking them to think about a sound they really can't stand + how they'd feel if that noise was magnified xxxxx times + they couldn't get away from it.  My son hasn't got a sensitivity to clothing/fabrics etc but if he had I'd say something similar but say to them to imagine if instead of itching or rubbing on your skin it felt like sandpaper rubbing away at you.  It's trying to get across how different it is, how much more intense sometimes or at other times the opposite.  

Good luck with everything - you're doing really well despite being let down by the services which are supposed to be their to help you + your son.  Don't put up with it.

Hi - My son is also 6 and I can totally understand your frustration with your family so you are not alone I can assure you.  My son was always well behaved with my sister until just the other day when he became violent in her presence.  This has totally silenced her unwanted comments. She even rang me to ask how to deal with the situation.  Perhaps you can leave your son with some of your relatives that try and judge you so they can soon see for themselves and then perhaps if they really do want to try and help you they will then have a greater understanding of your situation. 

In terms of outbursts in the home, our son is usually OK but can get really frustrated with certain things and some background noises.  For example he kept getting really angry and storming out of the room for what we thought was no reason (we initially put it down to the fact that he was not getting attention).  This we quickly found was not the case.  It was two things - one was a background chant on a football match on TV that my hubby was watching.  The other was a man who said the lords name in vain OMG on Midsomer Murders one afternoon, that resulted in his nearly launching himself through the TV!  I have learned to observe him more and now if I see him getting tetchy about anything before it totally escalates I divert his attention and then when I feel he is calm enough to talk about it I ask what made him feel frustrated.  He can usually describe as 6 year olds can in his own words - enough to make me understand.  Also recently there is a piece of laminated card called the 5 point scale which was given to me by our local ASD support person in the council.  She said I should show my son it as it is just the numbers 1-5 with a face picture beside each one, ranging from happy being 1 to 5 a red angry face.  At first our son said it was stupid but one day when he was just about to go into a rage he marched into the room and held the card up to my face saying " See this?  I am a number 5".  Though shocked I immediately acknowledged he showed me how angry he was feeling and asked how I could help him get back down to a number 1.  He then went back to his room and then a minute later came and told me he felt like a number 2 and that he had missed Power Rangers Mystic Force because we had taken him to the Seaside last week!  So - to summarise - daily I am getting to know what is triggering him off.  I then tell him I can see you are feeling "angry/a number 5" and I want to help you get back back down to a number 1 etc etc.  Then when things have calmed down I go and give him a big cuddle and tell him how proud I am that together we have made him feel calmer.  The outbursts have reduced dramatically and as I never raise my voice but explain in a little more detail the behaviour I want to see then he gets it.  The other thing I do if he does get really angry and physical is tell him "go to your room until you can calm down.  The behaviour I want to see is ....that you come and apologise for hitting your sister for example and then we can move on".  I always do this in the same calm way every time with no variation.  If my hubby raises his voice to our son then this inconsistency seems to set him off on a treadmill again so this is also something we now have to be totally together on in terms of the way we deal with him - always needs to be exactly the same. Hope this is helpful. 

I am new here..

I have a six year old son, who has suspected ASD. He has only just been referred and the waiting time for a diagnosis where i live is between 4 and 7 years:(. I find his behaviour very challenging at times. He is very well behaved in school and is way ahead in his reading and writing. At home he is totally different. He has violent outbursts most days at the moment, and it seems to be getting worse. His 9 year old sister gets the brunt of it, and i feel for her.. I struggle sometimes as it seems whatever i do with my son nothing seems to work. I don't always have the support of my husband as he works away, one week away and then one week at home. My family think that my son is just naughty and that there is nothing wrong with him, so i have given up talking to them about it, and they don't live near me anyway, but think that they are capable of telling me i'm wrong after spending a few days with him.

I just need some support from people who understand what i am going through..

Would be grateful for any advice.

Hi,

What age is your daughter?

My daughter also has aspergers she has recently been diagnosed she is 16.

Good luck with your daughter.

Hi - welcome to the site.  Yes, it can be an uncertain time - a time of adjustment, learning etc.  You've come to a gd place for info + any support you may need.  How old is your daughter?