Published on 12, July, 2020
hi everyone! i’m looking for some advice. i’m 20 years old. i’ve thought for some time now that i have autism. i’ve got a long list of how i acted as a child and how i act now. i phoned my gp a couple times and even had an appointment to discuss this. as usual, i was turned away from a diagnosis and told to seek help elsewhere, specifically here. i believe a diagnosis would really help me and stop my constant questioning of myself. i was always the ‘well-behaved smart girl’ in school, and i am currently doing well in university, which is why i think no one has taken me seriously. the reality is, i have struggled so much with what i’ve discovered is called ‘masking’. i never realised that neurotypical people don’t do this? it’s so very mentally and physically draining for me, but because it doesn’t affect anyone around me it feels as though i should be doing fine. but i’m really not. it’s so stressful, i really don’t know what to do next. am i going to live like this for the rest of my life?
Hi! As NAS78875 suggested, it might be worth asking your university if they can give you some advice or a preliminary assessment. I know that my university did this, though at the time I had no idea that I am probably autistic. I am currently waiting to be assessed as I strongly suspect that I am autistic. I wish I had realised earlier. I can relate to what you are saying. I also did well academically at school and university but some things were a real struggle... and masking is so exhausting. I am not sure what it is like in the UK, but it might also be worth seeing if there are any autistic societies or advice services in your area. I am currently in Germany and I am receiving very good support and advice from a free advice service specifically for autistic people. They even wrote a letter for my doctor explaining why I should be assessed and gave me some tips to better cope in the meantime. For me, realising that I am autistic was a huge revelation and it has been extremely helpful- it allowed me to better understand my struggles and recognise some of my patterns. So I think you've already made the first step towards better dealing with everything! I hope you manage to get an assessment.