New here!

Hi Frith

Sounds like you have been through a lot and already experienced the 'variety' of attitudes in education. What comes across is that mainstream schools just cannot cope very well and your son will only benefit from specialist teachers at this 'autism base' whatever that is.

We live in a very rural location and didn't even have a choice of 3 mainstream schools, let alone the other facilities you talk about. Well done at winning the appeal. I didn't go down that route, even though my son was excluded (it was illegal) because I didn't want him to be at a school where he was not welcome. I jumped about a bit and sent letters but was getting too stressed over it all. The education authority seemed to be bogged down in their own policies and couldn't act on them. I felt very let down by the local school which is the hub of the local community. They were so good for my other son (2 years older) who was an A* student and very easy to teach. Yeah, he was good for their league tables!

But for your boy, please take care if he goes to mainstream school. It can be a cruel place, bullies rule whatever the school's policy on bullying is. Most teachers are not trained to deal with ASD kids in mainstream schools. Your son would be vulnerable when alone, like at break times. Protect him.

My lad is facing the scary world of work soon (or signing on!). He will always have aspergers, but you can't go waving a special needs certificate in adult land, no one much cares. Luckily I have 3 other kids and other family to look out for him while he makes his own way.

Good luck!

Hello, Hubbub.

Glad your son has found a good college.

Lots of school problems here! To cut a long story short, son did OK in years 1-3 but did have selective mutism. Some teachers found that harder to deal with than others.

I don't really know what happened in year 4 (but he was bullied from reception onwards by the same boy). He started getting very anxious and in the end started disrupting lessons by wandering around and making different noises. By year 5 he had been excluded several times and had begun leaving the classroom entirely. Sometimes he left the school!

The year 5 teacher was quite awful and tried "laying the law down" and things just spiralled until he got permanently excluded. I appealed the exclusion and won!

By that time he was in a short stay school (started there last November). He is still there, in a class of 5 and they have had very few problems with him. He gets up and dressed and looks out of the window for his taxi. :-) Only trouble is that he is travelling 3 hours a day to get there.

After his Aspergers diagnosis yesterday I phoned the county council as I had *just* selected 3 mainstream schools. (I put in for a statement last year too and he is entitled to 30 hours a week). I told the council to hang fire on the 3 possible schools and give me time to consider autism bases. They phoned back this morning and want a copy of his diagnosis report then will tell me if he is allowed to join an autism base.

Welcome to my world Frith. My son was diagnosed at 11. Like for you, it was not a big surprise really and I also felt a bit lost.

Unfortunately not much has changed and my son is now 18 and at college. There is no support in my area either and we have muddled through. I didn't even know about this website until last year.

Mainstream school meant years of bullying (because he was a bit odd), by both children and even some teachers. He had very few friends until year 11 or so, when his peers matured and were more accepting.You have to be aware of this and stay on top of what happens at school. Some very good teachers made a difference to his progress but so many others could not be bothered to understand his 'ways'. It was too easy for him to become depressed, so hard on him. The SEN department thought they were helping him but in reality it was haphazard and their efforts often annoyed my son.

His main difficulty was not being able to express himself in writing, and physically tired of doing the business of writing things down although he is bright, curious and a nice guy. He also tends to switch off school from home, like 2 different worlds which meant very little homework was done and he told me nothing of school, there were often missed letters and school trips etc (we didn't get the letter that invited him to a gifted and talented summer school at a university for instance). He did very well in his GCSEs in maths and sciences, but he was asked to leave 6th form as he wasn't keeping up. I have since found out that this was illegal (bbc news today!). He was very badly treated by the system during this time and I was shocked at the lack of support. He has now enrolled at another college 30miles away from home, and enjoying learning, despite his writing problems still being there. The college have at least leant him a laptop to do his assignments on. And he has a little extra time allowed in exams because of his slow writing.

Sorry if it sounds a bit doomy, and I don't know if your son is likely to have similar troubles, everyone is different, but please be aware of bullying behaviour and lack of help from authorities. Get whatever help you are entitled too. I was a little afraid of this because I was reluctant to 'label' him. He didn't ever want to be seen as 'different' either.

A good thing - Awareness has so improved in recent years! The geek is king, have you noticed? It is considered to be cool to be a bit different, there's even sitcoms, books and films about such people. I believe that they are a positive force, but only if they can find their niche in society. Now you are aware of his aspergers, check out the real world and the media world and see that your son can thrive. He will need your guidance though, especially through secondary schooling. My son doesn't fit the school system but he is not stupid. I so hope he can find his niche in the end.