Hello

Hello,

My name is Abi. 

I was diagnosed when I was still a child, I'm 18 now and finding life having grown up a bit a lot harder than I thought it be. I've applied for jobs but no one will hire me half because of how I look and half because I come across as cold and irritable. I'm not really like that it's just what I'm like with people and when I'm put in stressful environments and situations. I don't like the idea of working not cause I'm lazy just because it means leaving my comfort space and that scares me and makes me anxious. But me mum is pressuring me loads to get work so I'm trying but no one will give me a job. I've looked up tips and videos on-line but no such luck yet. Any advice regarding employment would be helpful and appreciated.

I'm also experiencing extreme loneliness. I have no friends at all unlike my sisters who have lots. I've got family but it's not the same. At school they treated me like an alien and everyone avoided me and made fun. I thought if I did clubs or groups I might make some then but my anxiety made that impossible and then that worsened both loneliness and depression for me.

My mental health is poor. It's gotten worse in the last year or two, specifically since my mum got terminal cancer. I can't process or accept that and I find it extremely depressing. I've seen the GP and they gave me pills but they don't work for me and though there's suicidal thoughts and two attempts before they still won't give me any support for my struggles so I'm not sure what to do there.

I thought coming here might be the next best thing for me. I might be able to find advice, support and maybe make friends as well.

This is very long, longer than I intended, sorry.

Abi xx