Understanding anger and accepting it in others

HI all,

From my perspective, I have found that anger is the most challenging emotion to feel/express effectively and accept in others.  I realise anger is an important emotion which is useful in many scenarios but my personal observation is that others sometimes use it to undermine/attack/bully others.  This for me is when it becomes unacceptable and traumatising.  When I feel anger building in me and I know that I cannot stop it, I am terrified inside as it feels overwhelming for me.  I am more comfortable with other emotions but am learning that it is okay to be angry as long as you remain respectful and if you can't you escape the situation or warn the other person the level of anger you are feeling so you can talk later when calmer.  I'd like to know of other strategies people use to allow anger to happen and be okay with it.  I rarely express anger towards others because it's so built up from years of repression that I would be scared of how it would manifest.  I am so used to pushing it down that I now no longer feel it even if another person is fully expressing it right in my face.  I tend to disassociate and feel sad about whatever it is that got them to that point of hurt.  I see anger as the protective barrier for hurt and trauma.

1. How do others feel about anger in themselves and others if they recognise it as anger?
2. How do others feel when someone is shouting or expressing anger to them?
3. Do others feel comfortable feeling angry and expressing it?
4. Do others use anger to hide and protect themselves from being vulnerable?
5. Does anyone have a lot of repressed anger and if so, what do they do to unlock that?
6. Do others feel that anger is an unacceptable/wrong part of them if expressed in it's original form without manipulation into something acceptable?

Thanks for reading, I look forward to gaining more insight into this emotion.