Published on 12, July, 2020
HELLO. I am Mum to a 9yr old boy who was diagnosed last year with both ADHD/ASD. Currently my little boy is withdrawn and socially awkward. He barely speaks to other children and has attached himself to another little boy with the same disorder in his class. Although they are great friends, it doesnt help him mix with classmates. He feels alone at times as his friend likes football and he hates any contact sport or personal contact! I have been told he can walk around alone at breaks which is just heartbreaking.
He has just started art therapy in school though I know very little from it. He doesnt share much information.
I am finding it difficult to get him to engage with us socially at weekends. He refuses to go out and will not even go for short walk.
Does anyone out there have any suggestions or have been through similar difficulty?
Would really appreciate the support right now x
Hi,
I think it's really lovely your son has found a little friend to tag along with who shares similar difficulties, I wish I had that at his age.
In reguards to your son getting too attached to his friend it may be because they share the same understandings or feelings that many others don't experience or understand nearly as well meaning, they might be able to boost each others comfidence and happiness in school when they are together.
If your son was only diagnosed a year ago with ADHD and ASD he still may be getting to grips with everything and so is even more so hanging around his friend to get that little bit of comfort and support from someone of the same age. I personally haven't had the exact exsperiences your son is having now but I did know a child just like him of similar age to your son with ADHD and ASD too. He was very kind and he didn't have great communication or social skills but was very lovely and certainly made some friendly attachments too. He would love to hug pretty much everyone he met and was very special and I think his friends really benifited him. He was best friends with my brother and he loved him a lot because they had so much understanding for each other and I think for the boy it was because everyone else in their class didn't accept him as much or at all, it was special to finally find someone with some things in common for him.
It's rare that you make friends like that. I think overtime your son will loosen the relationship to a more relaxed state but at the moment I think because they may share so many similarities, it can be lovely to share that. I used to make sometimes too strong relationships with my friends and so found it really hard to be away from them but it was like being around them almost gave me a breathe of fresh air [sometimes].
I think at the moment your son is gripping on to him because it's that little extra bit of support he may be needing now, away from the neurotypical children and people who may understand a little less in some cases.
Your son is not alone because I know people who show similar behaviors to your son with ADHD and ASD like prefering less interation with other children and activities, it seems he may need a little boost in comfidence but I know in my experience, being outdoors [if possible] with nature is great. I sometimes hate the thought of going out on a walk but once I am outside it helps me masively and gives me time to be with my thoughts - away from overwealming noises and situations.
Goodluck with everything and I hope I helped as much as I could. :]
MJFR