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Mum on the edge

Lilvix

Hey everyone,

i not long had my 3year old dignosed with autism and believe me, I have so many questions I don't know where to start. He is the most loving pleasant little boy I know ( slightly biased) but recently his behaviour I has deteriorated so bad. He seems so angry all the time and the naughty step just doesn't work. I just want to know where to start to calm him down, make him understand he can't be this way. i hope I am not the only one, feeling this way, upsets me so much when people in own family, just think he naughty and not disiplined properly. Sorry for the rant.

Parents

  • Oh how I know what you are going through.

    My son is now 30 years old and I can well remember the situation that you are talking about. If I can say one thing to you in support, it is that you know your son best and you know that he is not just being naughty. In my own experience, naughty steps, taking away priviledges or denying treats never worked for my son; the amount of times that I returned him to his bedroom as he wouldnt remain there. If I tried to take away favourite toys as a "punishment" he just used to give them to me before I asked or he threw them out of his window. Believe me, I tried everything.

    I was at a disadvantage because even though I knew that my son was different, Autism was not really recognised then as it is today so I have waited 30 years for a diagnosis! The diagnosis is not really important to me because I value my son as an individual and dont really go for labels but diagnosis does open doors of support.

    Like you, I have had everyone judge my parenting skills through ignorance and even my closest family judged me and never offered any support as I was just spoiling him or had no ability to control him; even my own GP told me it was my fault as I was giving off "bad vibrations" what ever that meant!

    Anyway, if you just want to rant to someone who understands, please do. We all need an outlet.

    Just remember we can only ever do our best as parents or people and if others judge, it is they who have a problem. Its hard to enjoy the naughty times but just cherish the times you get that smile or cuddle, it is those times that are important, not the behaviours.

    Please let me know how you are doing.

Reply

  • Oh how I know what you are going through.

    My son is now 30 years old and I can well remember the situation that you are talking about. If I can say one thing to you in support, it is that you know your son best and you know that he is not just being naughty. In my own experience, naughty steps, taking away priviledges or denying treats never worked for my son; the amount of times that I returned him to his bedroom as he wouldnt remain there. If I tried to take away favourite toys as a "punishment" he just used to give them to me before I asked or he threw them out of his window. Believe me, I tried everything.

    I was at a disadvantage because even though I knew that my son was different, Autism was not really recognised then as it is today so I have waited 30 years for a diagnosis! The diagnosis is not really important to me because I value my son as an individual and dont really go for labels but diagnosis does open doors of support.

    Like you, I have had everyone judge my parenting skills through ignorance and even my closest family judged me and never offered any support as I was just spoiling him or had no ability to control him; even my own GP told me it was my fault as I was giving off "bad vibrations" what ever that meant!

    Anyway, if you just want to rant to someone who understands, please do. We all need an outlet.

    Just remember we can only ever do our best as parents or people and if others judge, it is they who have a problem. Its hard to enjoy the naughty times but just cherish the times you get that smile or cuddle, it is those times that are important, not the behaviours.

    Please let me know how you are doing.

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