Hello

Thank you 

You have done the hard bit, try and relax now, I know it’s easier said than done. 
I’m  anxious just writing this, it’s the what if no one believes me?

I’ve just emailed my screening forms to the assessment centre. I hope it doesn’t take too long - I’ve not slept very well and have a headache now

Hi, I thought it was just me. I use alcohol to kill the inner me off so if I have to go to a social occasion i am able to function as then I feel nothing. I tried antidepressants but after a few months stopped them as I felt no different. I’m at the start of my journey as well, I’ve felt so much better since realising what I am. 
we had someone staying at the weekend, I was feeling anxious and angry so I made an excuse and went to bed. 
I thought it was better to take myself out of the situation than ruin the evening for everyone else.  Got my first appointment on the 23rd. 
Good luck with your journey.

I used to use alcohol to fit in a lot. It was the only way I could calm my anxiety and awkwardness in social situations. I couldnt actually be in a group social situation without being drunk for a lot of my 20s. It was a way to appear normal I guess and cope with social anxiety. It made me behave like someone Im not though and got me into some lousy situations. I dont do that anymore, havnt for years but its scary being in social situations without that defence. 

Totally get the not fitting in and mimicking too and especially the losing friends. I have lost so many friends and with many of them I still have no idea why to this day.
I find the only friends worth having are other people like us, either autistic people or other non NT people. they understand us, not sure "normal" people ever will

Thats brilliant, well done!

I can relate to that. When I found out I was autistic it was hard to tell people because Id done such a good job of masking. They only see what we portray, if they knew what our heads were like 24-7 I think theyd be shocked

4 weeks is great - well done!

Hi :) 

Well done on getting an assessment, I was so relieved and a little surprised that I was accepted for an assessment! I almost feel that I've managed to hide my true self for so long that no one can take me seriously about thinking I'm autistic. Only I know what's going round in my head 24/7, others only see what I portray. 

I've never really had 'proper' friends, not like others seem to have. I've always felt a bit of a loner really. I don't really know what to say to people most of the time, unless I feel comfortable with them, such as my work mates. I feel I am either very up or very down, and sometimes I feel I can't bring myself to talk to people, if I don't feel like engaging. 

I used to use alcohol socially to fit in and give myself confidence to socialise. It really did not agree with me and I have had many many awful situations where I've gone off the rails while binge drinking. Now that I am more settled and have my own little family, I no longer go out drinking but have an awful coping mechanism of binge eating :( it's almost an obsession, even though I hate doing it.

I hope you don't have to wait too long for your assessment :) 

That’s good to hear, it became a problem for me but I have not had alcohol for 4 weeks now and am using lots of relaxation techniques to stay calm 

Hello, and welcome to the forum!  I totally relate to the relief you’re feeling - I’ve been the same since finding out I’m autistic, too.

When I was younger I used alcohol to try and lose my social inhibition so that I would fit in with others.  I’m much happier being myself now, though.