Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I've been chatting to some ladies on here who are struggling in their relationships with partners who have Aspergers or high function Autism and I've noticed there seems to be a need for support. I am in the same situation and my partner and I have a little boy aged 5, who is also on the spectrum. Life has been very tough for a few years, but my partner and I have just started counselling.
I am hoping some others will hop on board so we can all share info and experience and support each other.
I haven't intended it to be exclusively for ladies by the way.
Love Rosemary xx
to female with Asperger's and NT husband, and Rosemary,
We were able to revisit pervious topics and do active listening, again. It worked better this time. I was able to express a lot of frustration and he also. I think I was in a better palce to receive because I had more rest and did cry today which is an outlet.
He explained that it is hard to be nice when I'm tired and ill when he is already annoyed with me (prior to.) I get that. He explained how complicated some of my requests are and there is nothing he can do about it. It just is. I get that, too.
I appreciate your shares. I try to keep in mind how the whole of society is a struggle for an Aspie and at the same time get some of my needs met in the process.
I read an article on retraining the brain. It read that thoughts are just thoughts, and they pass. Also, some of our thought patterns repeat in a cyclical manner. However, we can change them if we try. I've been trying to recognize repetitive thought patterns that keep me down and unhappy, and then tell myself not to listen. Then, try to replace those thoughts with more positive ones, ones that nudge me where I want to go.
I find diverting my thoughts to topics of interest and needs such as exercise, nutrition, writing, creative changes in our home etc. does me a world of good. My husband knows what he likes to do and has no trouble doing it.
My daughter has emotional problems and is quite successful in her endeavors except her personal life. I make sure to spend time with her and my grandkids, and then have been able to let go. She is in therapy. I do tell her things I need to say and provide information she needs to know. Then, I let go. It is up to her and her therapist to facilitate growth. I can not control her or her life. To me, that is what life is: taking hold, doing what one can, and then let go and try to enjoy.
I'm not interested in prolonged drama. I'm not interested in being a task master. I want to try things in life, with my husband sometimes and alone. It's my life and I want to feel I'm living it as fully as possible. Only I can make that happen.
Thank you for reading, and your response. Life is better.
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