Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I have 2 little girls, 5 and 2. I noticed that my eldest wasn’t reaching the ‘typical’ milestones like other children. I was told not to be worried, “all children develop differently”. One of the red flags was that her speech was very limited, she also didn’t play with children at playgroup, we had to endure the same 15minute clip of Disney castle openings on YouTube over and over again and she could not follow simple instructions. She only started using sentences last year during the first UK lockdown (aged 3) as she had no other way to communicate.
We went to Speech and Language and she was referred in Dec 19. However, that appointment was delayed and we finally got seen June this year! She’s been observed 4 times already, and even though she has just turned 5 she is showing clear signs of Autism and ADHD, won’t get the proper assessment until she’s 6.
My little girl is constantly asking “what’s that noise?” She’ll ask over and over, majority of the times it’s a plane flying over. Our therapist explained that she ‘sees through her eyes’, and basically if she can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
I was just wondering if anyone could give me tips on how to parent a young child with these 2 diagnosis? She’ll also be starting primary school in August, she does not handle change well at all. Has anyone got advice on how to prepare for school etc?
Thanks
no problem glad to be help
I’ve bought her headphones for her tablet more for our sakes after hearing the same background noise time and time again. She does ask me to turn the radio down in the car this is just recent.
I’ve never even given it a thought to her having sensitive hearing. She’s just seemed curious when she hears a sound. Never thought it could be affecting her.
Now that I’ve thought about it more, everytime we went to a birthday party and they all started singing happy birthday she would scream and cry and tell people to stop singing. Even at her own party she cried.
Thanks for the advice!
Thank you Daniel,
The idea of school in general is a really tough one as soon as we mention ‘big school’ she starts to panic. We’ve been avoiding it for a bit but I think rehearsing is a good idea.
Advanced notices aren’t really welcomed by her as it can go either way. For example we took her to the zoo for her birthday but told her a few days before we went and she packed her bag thinking we were going there and then. On the other hand if we make plans where she’s not excited about it she can go into a massive 1 hour + tantrum if you can call it that. I’ve not worked out the difference between a meltdown and tantrum yet with her.
I think now we’ve got a long journey ahead and I’m absolutely clueless in meeting the needs of my child.
I would say, at a gues she has very sensitive hearing. Have you tried headphones/eardefenders to block more sound out. I use a range of eardefenders all the time. One pair has a radio inside to play me music or white noise. They help me focus / not get distracted ( ADHD )
Sophie's Mummy,
The first piece of advice of parenting any autistic person is to check that when you try to help, discern whether it's helping or interfering. Some things good for nonautistic people are not good for autistic people, so you've got to be careful with how you help your children. As an example, socializing is good for nonautistic people, but autistic people lack the social area of the brain so socializing can be tiring for autistic people.
Concerning preparing for school, give regular advanced notices. As a family you could rehearse situations that occur at school, like you could pretend to be a teacher and see how your children rehearse. Many autistic adults I've listened to say acting helped them improve their social skills as well.
Always give advanced notices and help her know what to expect.