Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I am newly diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD, had my assessment of Tuesday just gone, and the consultant closed his book and gave me his diagnosis. At first I was shocked and I was upset and cried. But since then, I am struggling to come to terms with this, and feel like I’m a fraud / over-exaggerated or faked my way through the assessment. I’ve always been alone, had limited friends and struggled socially particularly with relationships. I told one of my friends who said it makes sense, but my family ask if the doctor is wrong, and how they didn’t notice. I keep going through my head of all the questions, replaying the answers and questions, and how I acted in the assessment and feel like a fraud. Any help would be good as I’m struggling a bit with this. Don’t know if anyone can help. New to the community and this group thing.
thanks gareth
Thank you GuybrushThreepwood. That really helps x
Thank you Plastic. i really appreciate the reply x
Thank you Dawn for the advice and kind words x
Hi Gareth, Plastic is so right. It's hard to process right now, but ultimately it's an opportunity to sculpt a life that works for you, rather than spend it trying to mould yourself to one that doesn't. Meanwhile, the community here will help you.
Give your family time. They need to adjust too. My mother is 80. It's been a shock for her too, but in the end I think it will place some stuff for her.
Unfortunately, it's a lot to process. You're lucky in a way - you're old enough to understand the implications of the diagnosis but young enough to sort your life out into one that suits your mentality. (I didn't get diagnosed until my 40s)
You're going to need to think about things. Your friends are your friends - they don't care what labels you have.
Your parents will care - it's a slight on them to admit their child is not perfect. They might not accept it because you are still you - no different to before the diagnosis.
Something you need to think about is how do you handle stress - it will control your life if you let it. We have out fight-or-flight set to 100% - you need to be aware of this so you can find a lifestyle that doesn't burn you out.
Other than that, look at these boards - I'm sure you'll find some interesting parallels with your own life.
Autism and ADHD tends to run in families, maybe they made those comments because they’re also undiagnosed and didn’t see your behaviour as unusual? Do you have an Instagram account? There are a lot of neurodivergant accounts on there that I find myself identifying with, I have a whole phone album of meme screenshots, mostly autistic ones but also quite a few ADHD. Did the consultant not offer any follow up support? Although I think that may be a bit of a postcode lottery for adults unfortunately
Oh I didn’t know that, sorry the difficulties you have had. Did you ever struggle with coming to terms with the diagnosis? I don’t feel lucky atm, and feel quite low :-(