Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,I'm a 38 year old female and I think I may have Asperger's. My GP is going to refer me for an assessment.
I've always found socialising difficult, but thought I was just shy or had social anxiety. But recently I noticed something worrying: I keep falling out with friends or offending them without intending to. I don't know if this is a symptom of Asperger's or not? Could someone clarify this? The worrying thing was that I couldn't predict when it was going to happen, and sometimes I didn't even understand why it had happened. That's when I started researching and trying to find out what the problem could be. When I read about Asperger's, and symptoms like 'masking', I realised that I have masked all my life. I realised that maybe the reason I have low self esteem is because I could never understand why I couldn't be social like others could.
Anyway, I am very pleased to have found this community. Thank you! It is great to know that I'm not alone in this experience.
I have some questions about diagnosis. I am somewhat worried because I understand that many high-functioning autistic females are misdiagnosed. I've read that if you do get an Asperger's diagnosis, you can access help and support. Can anyone tell me what kind of help you can access, specifically in terms of therapy: can you get help developing social skills, and help for low self esteem and anxiety, for example? What kind of therapy is it? Can you get to the stage where you can function more easily and get less anxious?
If I get diagnosed as NOT autistic, can I still participate in this forum? I guess I could still read self-help books for Asperger's, and use what is relevant? I am currently on the waiting list for CBT for anxiety (I have had therapy several times in my life, for issues including an eating disorder, low self esteem, anxiety, and insomnia, and I'm currently waiting for more therapy). I suppose I could tell the therapist that I suspect I have Asperger's, but they wouldn't be able to give me specialist help for autism, but perhaps they could help me with social anxiety.
Thank you!
Hi Aidie,Thanks very much for your replies. So if you do have therapy or help post-diagnosis, is it the same type of help as for NT people (i.e. CBT for anxiety) or is there such a thing as specific therapy for Asperger's? I suppose I just want to know if I will still be able to get help for my problems, even if I am misdiagnosed. I guess if the diagnosis is 'social anxiety' then I could still identify that the low self-esteem stems from feeling out of place socially, which would still help me address each problem.
I’m in Kent and was diagnosed in 2020, aged 48 (am female).
The commissioned provider for Adult ASD diagnosis in my area also provided a post-diagnosis CBT package as part of the diagnostic pathway package. I’m also getting ‘coping strategies at work’ coaching through the Access to Work scheme (via Dept of work and Pensions). I’d say this coaching is helping me relax into being my authentic, autistic self and to stop being so hard on myself with self blame and negative thinking.
I’m reviewing my life in reverse and am on a vertiginous learning curve to understand myself through a different lens. I have a daughter diagnosed ASD in 2021 who will be starting an ‘ASD and me’ course with SENCO at school and am expecting what she learns will educate me as well. So like @aidie says, depends where you live.
I have low self esteem and anxiety too and about to be assessed for ADHD which, currently (if I do actually have that too), is more problematic for me.
I honestly think my anxiety meds need replacing with ADHD meds.
It’s like coming home when you find the right community and this forum really helped around the time of my diagnosis. I only stepped back from posting due to the pandemic (I’m an NHS worker).
I hope that helps.
just missed that u are on the list for CBT thats really good go on that for sure
it all depends where u live and the severity of your diagnosis
but for me there was no support post diagnosis but i didnt really push for anything
yes u can get your anxiety reduced----- i would ask your GP about that.
there are local Stress Reduction classes that are regularly delivered by each health authority called "stresscontrol" its about 6 weeks and its free and u dont have to talk and u wont be asked any questions
its a good overall start --- and u get a free booklet for each night attended which covers what was just presented
this is the doctor who developed it in scotland https://stresscontrol.org/