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I'm undiagnosed, and have questions about diagnosis

Ultramarine

Hello,
I'm a 38 year old female and I think I may have Asperger's.  My GP is going to refer me for an assessment.

I've always found socialising difficult, but thought I was just shy or had social anxiety.  But recently I noticed something worrying: I keep falling out with friends or offending them without intending to.  I don't know if this is a symptom of Asperger's or not?  Could someone clarify this?  The worrying thing was that I couldn't predict when it was going to happen, and sometimes I didn't even understand why it had happened.  That's when I started researching and trying to find out what the problem could be.  When I read about Asperger's, and symptoms like 'masking', I realised that I have masked all my life.  I realised that maybe the reason I have low self esteem is because I could never understand why I couldn't be social like others could.

Anyway, I am very pleased to have found this community.  Thank you!  It is great to know that I'm not alone in this experience.

I have some questions about diagnosis.  I am somewhat worried because I understand that many high-functioning autistic females are misdiagnosed.  I've read that if you do get an Asperger's diagnosis, you can access help and support.  Can anyone tell me what kind of help you can access, specifically in terms of therapy:  can you get help developing social skills, and help for low self esteem and anxiety, for example?  What kind of therapy is it?  Can you get to the stage where you can function more easily and get less anxious?

If I get diagnosed as NOT autistic, can I still participate in this forum?  I guess I could still read self-help books for Asperger's, and use what is relevant?  I am currently on the waiting list for CBT for anxiety (I have had therapy several times in my life, for issues including an eating disorder, low self esteem, anxiety, and insomnia, and I'm currently waiting for more therapy).  I suppose I could tell the therapist that I suspect I have Asperger's, but they wouldn't be able to give me specialist help for autism, but perhaps they could help me with social anxiety.

Thank you!

Parents

  • I’m in Kent and was diagnosed in 2020, aged 48 (am female).

    The commissioned provider for Adult ASD diagnosis in my area also provided a post-diagnosis CBT package as part of the diagnostic pathway package. I’m also getting ‘coping strategies at work’ coaching through the Access to Work scheme (via Dept of work and Pensions). I’d say this coaching is helping me relax into being my authentic, autistic self and to stop being so hard on myself with self blame and negative thinking.

    I’m reviewing my life in reverse and am on a vertiginous learning curve to understand myself through a different lens. I have a daughter diagnosed ASD in 2021 who will be starting an ‘ASD and me’ course with SENCO at school and am expecting what she learns will educate me as well. So like @aidie says, depends where you live.

    I have low self esteem and anxiety too and about to be assessed for ADHD which, currently (if I do actually have that too), is more problematic for me.

    I honestly think my anxiety meds need replacing with ADHD meds.

    It’s like coming home when you find the right community and this forum really helped around the time of my diagnosis. I only stepped back from posting due to the pandemic (I’m an NHS worker).

    I hope that helps. 

Reply

  • I’m in Kent and was diagnosed in 2020, aged 48 (am female).

    The commissioned provider for Adult ASD diagnosis in my area also provided a post-diagnosis CBT package as part of the diagnostic pathway package. I’m also getting ‘coping strategies at work’ coaching through the Access to Work scheme (via Dept of work and Pensions). I’d say this coaching is helping me relax into being my authentic, autistic self and to stop being so hard on myself with self blame and negative thinking.

    I’m reviewing my life in reverse and am on a vertiginous learning curve to understand myself through a different lens. I have a daughter diagnosed ASD in 2021 who will be starting an ‘ASD and me’ course with SENCO at school and am expecting what she learns will educate me as well. So like @aidie says, depends where you live.

    I have low self esteem and anxiety too and about to be assessed for ADHD which, currently (if I do actually have that too), is more problematic for me.

    I honestly think my anxiety meds need replacing with ADHD meds.

    It’s like coming home when you find the right community and this forum really helped around the time of my diagnosis. I only stepped back from posting due to the pandemic (I’m an NHS worker).

    I hope that helps. 

Children
  • in reply to ItsMyMind

    Hi ItsMyMind, 

    Thanks very much for your reply.  It's really good to hear that the support that you have been getting has been helping you.  

    It sounds like the therapy you had was specialised for ASD.  If I am given a positive diagnosis, this is what I hope that I might be able to have.  I want to try to understand why I have particular issues.  I don't know if this is a common symptom of ASD or Asperger's, but in the last few years I have unintentionally offended or fallen out with several people.  It's got to the stage where I'm worried about trying to make new friends or develop my career, in case I wreck things.  Do you know if this is a common symptom?  Maybe it's just me?

    I can't imagine how stressful it must be at the moment for NHS workers.  Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.