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Life begins at 64

Nick Squiggler

Hello from in Shropshire, England, I'm Nick Squiggler 68 years old, diagnosed about 4 years, finally. For me it was a great relief, and the diagnosis has changed my life. I know who I am and why I am not the person school and my tutors doing my degree in Fine Art wanted me to be. I am better than that, because I am my true self now.

I can't say it was easy, but somehow I managed to scrape through with a degree. I had no diagnosis, so no student support, if I had of had support as Autistic I would have done better, but I passed, and that was a great achievement. Especially as I never read a single of the recommended books. Art literature is impossibly hard to understand, rocket science would have been easier.

When I started I found it very hard to write in anything like an academic way, but in the end I did manage to write a dissertation. Not great, but good enough to pass.

That was about 15 years ago.

I love making art and drawing, painting and sewing are my favourite stims.

My current obsession is the idea that Autistic people are people with Neanderthal traits. My favourite book when I was at school was Stig of the Dump, a caveman living in a town's dump. I have always felt like Stig, an outsider, someone who just doesn't belong in the 'normal' world. I feel that people think I'm a human being, and I try very hard to look like one, but really I'm not, as if I accidentally came here through a time warp. Actually my head is very similar shaped to Captain Jean-Luc Picard's I have a distinct brow ridge and long skull, I always thought I had Neanderthal DNA even when no one thought it was possible. 

Some people liken Autism to being on the wrong planet, I can relate to that too, but far better for me is being an ugly duckling, a changeling, someone who everyone thinks is a human but is actually a faery, alien or Neanderthal. However looking at my family I see the genes, lots of odd shaped heads and creativity and easy for me to get on with. I come from a long line of oddballs, and I'm very happy with that.

Parents

  • Have you read William Golding's book 'The Inheritors'? It is about the meeting of a Neanderthal family with modern humans. 

    I have often thought that the description of Egil Skallagrimson from the Icelandic saga of that name was rather Neanderthal. He was large and ugly with a craggy and thick skull, he was bald, his remaining hair was iron-grey, his eyes were black, as was his beard and his eyebrows met in the middle (a trait I have). His grandfather was called Kveldulf (Evening-wolf) and was a 'shape-shifter' (werewolf). Egil was a farmer, trader, raider, soldier, murderer and poet. He once composed a poem to save his head, he was captured by Eric Bloodaxe, who had a grudge against him. His poem was so brilliant that Bloodaxe let him go free.

  • in reply to Martin

    That book sounds interesting, I'll have to find a copy, thanks Martin. I did read a novel about someone who went back to pre human days somehow and I really enjoyed it, but can't remember the name of it, it was a very long time ago.. Egil sounds an interesting character, great name too, I do like mono brows like Frida Kahlo, even more dramatic on a warrior poet murderer of course. I think it may well be a neanderthal trait. I have the opposite though, more like half eyebrows. When you have hybrids though it's quite common for interesting random traits to show up.

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  • in reply to Martin

    That book sounds interesting, I'll have to find a copy, thanks Martin. I did read a novel about someone who went back to pre human days somehow and I really enjoyed it, but can't remember the name of it, it was a very long time ago.. Egil sounds an interesting character, great name too, I do like mono brows like Frida Kahlo, even more dramatic on a warrior poet murderer of course. I think it may well be a neanderthal trait. I have the opposite though, more like half eyebrows. When you have hybrids though it's quite common for interesting random traits to show up.

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