Does anyone else feel like this?

Hello guys!

My name is Patrick. I'm 25 (26 next month), and I am someone considered as High-Functioning Autisic.

I have been struggling with my identity for a little bit even thought I was diagnosed at the age of four.

I went to a mostly all boys private school that was designed for people with autism (or any other learning/neruological disability), and pretty much since leaving at 18, I haven't really been with a group of people that were "autistic." I still have some really close friends that I have from that school that I still keep in touch with to this day and I have no problems talking about my autism with anyone. However, I feel like I'm stuck in this bizarre limbo where on one hand, because I pass as neurotypical, people will not recognise my diability or try to avoid that it exists. But on the other, if I come out as someone who is neurodivergent, people treat me really differently to the point where I know that they are thinking 'oh he has a disability. we gotta take care of him.' It's kind of one of the reasons why I still feel iffy about talking about it cause I feel that people won't believe my diagnosis from the autistic community, but people will treat me different from the neurotypical side.

Does anyone else feel like this or experiences this as well? If so, how do you deal with it?

By the way, I understand me being able to "pass as neurotypical", is something that I do take for granted because I know people wish they can be like that as well. I don't mean to ruffle any feathers, and I hope you don't see this as me exploiting my privilege.