Published on 12, July, 2020
I got my diagnosis a couple of months ago and after 51 years it made perfect sense to me. So much of what makes me, me, and so many of the difficulties that I've wrestled with, in particular with family relationships, is clarified.
I'm happy with my diagnosis and it's by no means marginal, but I wondered whether anyone else has experience of family refusing to accept it. My mum was involved in the assessment which I found quite difficult for a lot of reasons not least having to admit to stuff that she didn't know anything about. She's had some time to absorb it now though and she's basically decided(on what basis I don't know) that she thinks the diagnosis is wrong.
I know with every fibre of my being that it's right, and it doesn't altogether surprise me that she can't accept it but it feels like I'm being pushed back into the box that my family have always put me in, that never fitted me but they couldn't be bothered to see it. It feels like she's determined to deny who I am. I effectively 'disappeared' for around 15 years in my 20s because I was so desperate to get away from my family's perception of me, and I know (because she made it very clear during the assessment) that that hurt her, but she can't see that my diagnosis and the inability of my family to accept me as I am was the reason I withdrew from them. I'm trying to stay engaged at the moment, particularly since my dad died a few weeks after my diagnosis, but this determuned denial makes me feel like I did back then, like I want to just leave the planet and not have to deal with them at all.
Sorry, this sounds whiney. I'm really glad to be here but I don't have many people to talk to, so any advice would be gratefully received.
I identify. Thank you for sharing. I got diagnosed in 2018 at age 53. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t one of the ‘symptoms’ of ASD not seeing things from the viewpoint of another? That makes life difficult for others and me. For example, my family have had 53 years of automatic perception of me as non-autistic and they are often too busy and distracted to change their interpretation of me when it does not seem essential. They were even less educated about autism than me. I sometimes forget that I am autistic and am puzzled by my disordered thinking and behaviour so it is understandable - although not ideal- that they would also not have my autism in their mind. Seeing things from the point of view of another also applies to my own previous states of mind. I find it impossible to imagine a different experience than the one the senses are forcing upon me.