Newbie in need of advice

Hi all

My son who is 15 was diagnosed with Asd back in August last year. He is a sensitive boy but is becoming very frustrated and angry of late and lately we (mum and step dad) feel like the enemy. Any tips on how to avoid fireworks when dealing with young male adults would be greatly appreciated 

Parents
  • Hello, as someone with Autism maybe I can understand things more from what he is thinking and offer some help.

    Firstly, I think it is really good that you know he is feeing frustrated and angry. One of my biggest problems is communicating how I feel-partiqually offline. So, for you to already know is a very big first step.

    What I would say now is give him a way to show he is angry or upset. If only I had this sooner I would not have the problem's I have now. So, giving him a good way to let the anger out is important. Not sure exactly what this could be but it could be anything from something voilent (but controlled so it is safe) or something that he enjoys doing which will calm him down. Just make sure that whatever it is it is availible everywhere-so he can use it any time he feels angry or frustrated. For example I now carry lego wherver I go, and I am working on using it any time I get upset to help calm me down (but it is hard because it is not 'normal' for 17 year old girls to suddenly start playing with lego all the time and I am scared of being further judged or bullied because of it. So this maybe be something for you to think about to make sure whatver you try can be done everywhere. 

    Dealing with the problem now at the start when it is small is best. I know myself that I have always had problems with saying if I am upset, angry, sad or anything else. And now it is got out of controll because I have no way to say how I feel and to deal with it. I can not say enough how good it is that you know how he feels and how important it is to find a way to help him always say how he feels. 

    Hope this helps
    Amy  

Reply
  • Hello, as someone with Autism maybe I can understand things more from what he is thinking and offer some help.

    Firstly, I think it is really good that you know he is feeing frustrated and angry. One of my biggest problems is communicating how I feel-partiqually offline. So, for you to already know is a very big first step.

    What I would say now is give him a way to show he is angry or upset. If only I had this sooner I would not have the problem's I have now. So, giving him a good way to let the anger out is important. Not sure exactly what this could be but it could be anything from something voilent (but controlled so it is safe) or something that he enjoys doing which will calm him down. Just make sure that whatever it is it is availible everywhere-so he can use it any time he feels angry or frustrated. For example I now carry lego wherver I go, and I am working on using it any time I get upset to help calm me down (but it is hard because it is not 'normal' for 17 year old girls to suddenly start playing with lego all the time and I am scared of being further judged or bullied because of it. So this maybe be something for you to think about to make sure whatver you try can be done everywhere. 

    Dealing with the problem now at the start when it is small is best. I know myself that I have always had problems with saying if I am upset, angry, sad or anything else. And now it is got out of controll because I have no way to say how I feel and to deal with it. I can not say enough how good it is that you know how he feels and how important it is to find a way to help him always say how he feels. 

    Hope this helps
    Amy  

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