Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi Each, I could really do with some wise words right now. After repeatedly asking CAMHS to assess my now 15yr old son over a period of 7 yrs. We finally got the diagnosis that I knew was inevitable.. The problem is is that my son is declining to accept the diagnosis after being told by one of the assessors that he could choose not to accept a formal diagnosis. Whilst I fully understand that he is entitled to make this decision I am absolutely gutted by this. He's due to start college in September and is going to need a lot of support to make the transition. It would be so much easier to be able to say that his challenges come from Autism not bad behaviour which was how he was treated at school. I cannot bear the thought of having to endlessly advocate for him whilst withholding the single piece of information that would unlock the help he so desperately needs because he is anxious nearly all of the time. I know I have to respect his decision but i feel so let down that after all the worrying and fighting for his rights we finally have an answer but cannot use it. I know that I'm probably being selfish and am so deflated by this turn of events. We waited 2 years to even get the assessments done. Any wise words would be gratefully recieved
Hello NAS72612,
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your son's decision and can understand why you may be concerned. You might like to have a look at the following information around how parents may talk to their children about their diagnosis:
https://community.autism.org.uk/f/parents-and-carers/21760/helppp
You may like to contact our Parent to Parent service who offers emotional support to parents and carers of children or adults with autism. This service is confidential and run by trained parent volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism.
You contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent
All the best,
ChloeMod