Separation

I probably make it sound more dramatic than it was. I was too young to do any damage, and he was much bigger than me tbh, which is probably why it was such a big deal to overcome. But it was my Dad and the Dep.Head Teacher who encouraged me to stand up for myself, so I think I've always really resented being put in that position. Now I'm a Dad, I know it was really bad advice.

I think society just assumes that boys fight, or are content in being physically reactive. But it's really not the case often. If you push anyone into a corner and pressure them enough they will have to defend themselves, that's how I feel about that incident. Enduring bullying has had such an ongoing and profound effect on my personality and self-esteem it's frightening.

Since I was 16 I've considered myself a Buddhist. I read a book by the Dalai Lama and it clicked into place immediately. it's always brought me solace and encouraged a stillness that I can't explain. So that is where my heart has always been content and I quickly developed a practice of none reactivity, however I continue to suffer from intense anxiety in my sleep and nightmares each night.

It's good that you overcame trauma on your own. I don't chant or use a mantra when I meditate, but I have been considering it for years. I think, becoming more comfortable self identifying as Buddhist I might develop the confidence to incorporate that aspect into my practice.

My focus has shifted to helping others more. I had a son, which is of course a huge challenge with ND traits to navigate, but im also trying to setup a charity project to help people wjl are lower functioning. I hope this not only helps me move forward, but can do some good for the ND community.

I no longer fear people like I did, so I hope to use this opening up of my perspective on humanity for a greater good, maybe I'll find some peace there?

Thanks for the input though, I'll consider some of the techniques you suçceeded with

I probably make it sound more dramatic than it was. I was too young to do any damage, and he was much bigger than me tbh, which is probably why it was such a big deal to overcome. But it was my Dad and the Dep.Head Teacher who encouraged me to stand up for myself, so I think I've always really resented being put in that position. Now I'm a Dad, I know it was really bad advice.

I think society just assumes that boys fight, or are content in being physically reactive. But it's really not the case often. If you push anyone into a corner and pressure them enough they will have to defend themselves, that's how I feel about that incident. Enduring bullying has had such an ongoing and profound effect on my personality and self-esteem it's frightening.

Since I was 16 I've considered myself a Buddhist. I read a book by the Dalai Lama and it clicked into place immediately. it's always brought me solace and encouraged a stillness that I can't explain. So that is where my heart has always been content and I quickly developed a practice of none reactivity, however I continue to suffer from intense anxiety in my sleep and nightmares each night.

It's good that you overcame trauma on your own. I don't chant or use a mantra when I meditate, but I have been considering it for years. I think, becoming more comfortable self identifying as Buddhist I might develop the confidence to incorporate that aspect into my practice.

My focus has shifted to helping others more. I had a son, which is of course a huge challenge with ND traits to navigate, but im also trying to setup a charity project to help people wjl are lower functioning. I hope this not only helps me move forward, but can do some good for the ND community.

I no longer fear people like I did, so I hope to use this opening up of my perspective on humanity for a greater good, maybe I'll find some peace there?

Thanks for the input though, I'll consider some of the techniques you suçceeded with

I think that bullying affects everyone in different ways. You probably don't want to resort to violence as a means to solve disputes, and you want peaceful resolution instead.

I grew up Buddhist, however I wish I knew more of it in greater detail, I just know the general things, like to do things in moderation, to meditate, and to pray with incense sticks. I've always had intrusive negative thoughts from trauma when I meditated, and so I chose face those traumas one at a time (bite sized pieces so it's not overwhelming). Which ever one surfaced, was the one I focused on. I believe that you can overcome your trauma and find peace too. 

I'm glad that you chose to help people through setting up a charity for the ND community. That's an amazing feat! I wish you and your son all the best.