narcissistic relations bc we are too sweet

My mother and brother are narcissistic. Predominantly they were angry, violenct, aggressive, and controlling people, but then there are more subtle things they would do as well, like manipulation, blaming, shaming, mind control, "joking" as a way to put you down, and gaslighting. Well everything was about control and dominance, while appearing on the surface as though everything was perfectly fine, it was just a façade to hide their ways. 

I have a high tolerance for bad treatment without being aware, because that was "normal" treatment for me. I mean living with them was very cult-like, I had no rights to speak or any kind of freedom of my own, no value as a human being, and I was there to serve them like a slave. I had trauma from them, I was blamed heavily for everything that was wrong, but I was not allowed to fault these "rulers" in any way, because if I did I'll get punished and treated like a criminal. I deteriorated while I was living with them. I didn't look in the mirror because I was shattered, physically and mentally. 

But I'm in a much better place now though, and I've learned have more confidence in myself, and to do the things I enjoy. 

My mother and brother are narcissistic. Predominantly they were angry, violenct, aggressive, and controlling people, but then there are more subtle things they would do as well, like manipulation, blaming, shaming, mind control, "joking" as a way to put you down, and gaslighting. Well everything was about control and dominance, while appearing on the surface as though everything was perfectly fine, it was just a façade to hide their ways. 

I have a high tolerance for bad treatment without being aware, because that was "normal" treatment for me. I mean living with them was very cult-like, I had no rights to speak or any kind of freedom of my own, no value as a human being, and I was there to serve them like a slave. I had trauma from them, I was blamed heavily for everything that was wrong, but I was not allowed to fault these "rulers" in any way, because if I did I'll get punished and treated like a criminal. I deteriorated while I was living with them. I didn't look in the mirror because I was shattered, physically and mentally. 

But I'm in a much better place now though, and I've learned have more confidence in myself, and to do the things I enjoy.