Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone.
I have joined here, hoping to meet so nice people and make friends and be friends in real life and not just online.
I suffer from depression.
I have no friends... Well I have one person that says they are my friend
According to an online test clinical-partners.co.uk I am 21 one on the autism/Asperger's score.
I personally think my autism is mild.
I don't like people... I hate being with people. I find it very very very hard to meet people and make friends as I do not trust people. I have trust issues.
But at the same time, I really want to meet people and make friends.
I am 44 years old. I have recently been divorced. I suffer from depression... And I really do not like being depressed and sad... And being constantly emotional.
I have joined this community... To make friends... to Try and help people.. at the same time get help myself by talking to a real human being... Someone who is on the same wavelength as me on this autism spectrum/journey.
I don't know... I just want to feel like a human being and be happy and at the same time try and make someone happy.
Thank you very much guys for being very welcoming.
I have skipped through the comments... And I really appreciate your kind words... From what I picked up and so far.
I'm not really in a funny mood right now.... I think of locked myself in a box along with my feelings and thoughts. I've also come off my Prozac medication.
Basically I've just moved into my new house since February. I have moved into this M18 postcode area. And my new doctor seems like a robot.
And instead of talking to my new doctor about my feelings and increasing my medications... I just decided that the best way to avoid talking to this new doctor whom I am not comfortable with whatsoever is to stop taking my medications.
Thankfully I'm not as emotional as I used to be... but my anxiety levels has slightly increased... And that is stopping me from going outside to do food shopping etc.
Anyway...
I'm not really in a talkative mood right now.
But I do want to say one thing. Which is keep up the amazing work you guys have ongoing here.
Actually I will say one thing....in a space of one year...
I have been divorced... I have lost a 5 family members, all thanks to covid-19. I have no friends. I don't talk to anyone. Even on these so-called dating apps... Women just ignore me by me just being me and honest.
So much to say... But I'm scared to open up the box. Because I've had enough crying. And feeling like a piece of dirt.
So...
I've just shut everything out.
Once I have... As an example... formatted my hard drive... And reinstalled the operating system... Hopefully then I can slowly slowly open the box lid and start saying hi to people.
I will read and respond to the entire post when I'm feeling better and stronger.
I love you all. Be happy. And be strong.
Speak to you soon. Take care.
Peace
️