Masking - Open

As I am coming to the end of day as I do in the morning, I thought perhaps that the following paper on social camouflaging and personal masking might prove useful:

Camouflaging of autistic characteristics in social situations is hypothesised as a common social coping strategy for adults with autism spectrum conditions (ASC). Camouflaging may impact diagnosis, quality of life, and long-term outcomes, but little is known about it. This qualitative study examined camouflaging experiences in 92 adults with ASC, with questions focusing on the nature, motivations, and consequences of camouflaging. Thematic analysis was used to identify key elements of camouflaging, which informed development of a three-stage model of the camouflaging process. First, motivations for camouflaging included fitting in and increasing connections with others. Second, camouflaging itself comprised a combination of masking and compensation techniques. Third, short- and long-term consequences of camouflaging included exhaustion, challenging stereotypes, and threats to self-perception.

"Putting on My Best Normal": Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autistic Spectrums Conditions

Oh, OK. I'll save this article. Very interesting, especially on how women's diagnoses can be missed.

I can see bits of me in the "exceeding nature part".  For instance, I have had to teach myself to ask more 'you' questions, but also not to be too blunt about it.  I used to just assume that people would volunteer stuff like "I'm not OK" if in distress or 'I have this very interesting hobby', if they do.  It's been a long road to learn, that people don't necessarily tell you stuff you need or want to know unless you ask. And if I'm not picking up on other cues....I could be ignoring their need or sticking my foot in something sensitive for them.

The amount of times I've had conversations along the lines of:

"Don't you see that x feels y?"

"Aww, really?  Well, they never said."

And also, that people don't necessarily want the whole truth, or even the truth, when they ask you a question.  That 'How are you?' is just part of a social script is a head scratcher to me.  Ask me, I assume you really want to know.  If I ask you, I definitely do want to know, even if the answer is a bit heart breaking.

And questions like: 'How was your journey?" at the start of job interviews have always puzzled me.  What's my journey got to do with the job?  I never know what to say, because I can't quite fathom why they are asking.

I hate when people ask " can I get your honest opinion?" Took me ages to realise that it means they want you to say something nice, even if you have to lie to do so. I upset a lot of people before I realised that.

Exactly!  I want a genuine answer, otherwise what would be the point of asking in the first place.

Exactly!  I want a genuine answer, otherwise what would be the point of asking in the first place.