Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm Adam.
I'm in a lot of distress lately and would appreciate your support.
I'm 38 and really struggle with day to day life. It's got to the point were I'm older now and getting tired, so I either need to do something about it before it's too late or accept that my life is over now.
As a child of the 80's my odd behaviours were never taken seriously and autism was never really heard of back then. So I feel like I've slipped through the net and my condition has just been overlooked. My parents admit that they did know there was something wrong (which makes of angry). In 2011 I was diagnosed with bipolar and ocd to add a label to some of my symptoms but it just doesn't fit. I was diagnosed quickly and the process was really uncomfortable.
I struggle massively socially, it causes me debilitating anxiety, I'm always alone. I have repetitive thought patterns that can anger me and make me cross when I enter the cycle, I live a very strict daily routine and get ultra upset if I can't perform it and I'm incredibly sensitive to noise (even quiet noise) and wear earplugs permanently at home and headphones when out (with no music). I'm sensitive to bright lights (and sit in the dark a lot) and certain textiles make me vomit. I'm a ranter, a raver and I get told a lot I'm cold and aggressive. I've had 25+ jobs in the last 17 years and I'm just physically and mentally exhausted with it all.
I can't keep going through this cycle in life of screwing up jobs and not understanding life. I need some support now. What do I do?
I don't like my gp. They are busy and don't have time for anyone and they are abrupt and they make me anxious.
Thanks
Adam
Hi Adam
I was a late diagnosed - I'm a child of the late 60s - I watched the moon landings - I made it to 42 before my world was completely falling apart and my 'quirks' were too obvious to ignore. Like you, Asperger's wasn't a thing back then - you either fitted in or got stuck in 'remedial class' with the deadbeats.
We usually get diagnosed as bipolar or depressed - it's how we look to 'normal' people because we are happy talking about negative things - apparently, normal people don't do this?
If you've had that many jobs, can I suggest you're looking at the wrong career path - you need to acknowledge your strengths ans weaknesses and follow the path that fits your personality.
A diagnosis can be handy in the workplace if you like the job but just need some tweaks to help you succeed.
There's a famous autistic woman - Temple Grandin - she published a list of jobs we should aim for and ones to avoid - it's a bit out of date but it's still a guide to thinking more about what you want to do.
https://www.aspergers101.com/choosing-right-job-people-autism-aspergers-syndrome/
I'm a nerd - always into tech so I ended up as an engineer - lots of nerdy things to play with. I preferred working on my own and I worked for people who couldn't understand what I was doing so they mostly left me alone. I was happy in a plant-room on my own.
Thank you again Plastic for your fantastic support. I really appreciate the time you take to reply and with really useful info.
You're most welcome.