Intro and suspect I'm autistic

Hi I'm Adam.

I'm in a lot of distress lately and would appreciate your support.

I'm 38 and really struggle with day to day life. It's got to the point were I'm older now and getting tired, so I either need to do something about it before it's too late or accept that my life is over now.

As a child of the 80's my odd behaviours were never taken seriously and autism was never really heard of back then. So I feel like I've slipped through the net and my condition has just been overlooked. My parents admit that they did know there was something wrong (which makes of angry). In 2011 I was diagnosed with bipolar and ocd to add a label to some of my symptoms but it just doesn't fit. I was diagnosed quickly and the process was really uncomfortable.

I struggle massively socially, it causes me debilitating anxiety, I'm always alone. I have repetitive thought patterns that can anger me and make me cross when I enter the cycle, I live a very strict daily routine and get ultra upset if I can't perform it and I'm incredibly sensitive to noise (even quiet noise) and wear earplugs permanently at home and headphones when out (with no music). I'm sensitive to bright lights (and sit in the dark a lot) and certain textiles make me vomit. I'm a ranter, a raver and I get told a lot I'm cold and aggressive. I've had 25+ jobs in the last 17 years and I'm just physically and mentally exhausted with it all.

I can't keep going through this cycle in life of screwing up jobs and not understanding life. I need some support now. What do I do?

I don't like my gp. They are busy and don't have time for anyone and they are abrupt and they make me anxious.

Thanks

Adam

Parents
  • Hi there. You have described a sort of mirror image of myself, even in age. When I spoke to my GP I listed reasons for why I wanted a referral and was granted it. I then waited 2 years and just tried to get on until I heard back.

    In the end, believe it or not, I cancelled the appointment the day before. I decided that I know who I am, and what my struggles are, and didn't feel that someone else's opinion would give me any further validation. So I instead decided to work on myself more. Support won't change me and how I live in this society, only I can do that, so I'm pivoting the amount of work I take on, and how I go about reacting to other people in tough situations which I can control if I try, to see if I can calmly resolve many issues that I struggle with.

    Focusing on breathing in many situations does a surprisingly large amount to help me tbh.

    However, support is the right choice for many people and sounds like you at least need to talk this through with someone who is trained to recognise what these traits might mean. There are some good private resources that could help, even a free consoltation might help you along a bit?

    These guys were previously recorded recommended:

    https://www.autism-unravelled.com/

    ...but I imagine to isn't cheap. £1500+ for a private diagnosis at many places.

    Good luck. I hope you find some solace from their opinion Pray

Reply
  • Hi there. You have described a sort of mirror image of myself, even in age. When I spoke to my GP I listed reasons for why I wanted a referral and was granted it. I then waited 2 years and just tried to get on until I heard back.

    In the end, believe it or not, I cancelled the appointment the day before. I decided that I know who I am, and what my struggles are, and didn't feel that someone else's opinion would give me any further validation. So I instead decided to work on myself more. Support won't change me and how I live in this society, only I can do that, so I'm pivoting the amount of work I take on, and how I go about reacting to other people in tough situations which I can control if I try, to see if I can calmly resolve many issues that I struggle with.

    Focusing on breathing in many situations does a surprisingly large amount to help me tbh.

    However, support is the right choice for many people and sounds like you at least need to talk this through with someone who is trained to recognise what these traits might mean. There are some good private resources that could help, even a free consoltation might help you along a bit?

    These guys were previously recorded recommended:

    https://www.autism-unravelled.com/

    ...but I imagine to isn't cheap. £1500+ for a private diagnosis at many places.

    Good luck. I hope you find some solace from their opinion Pray

Children