What do you think of self-identification?

Thank you so very much for Sharing your story. I really do appreciate it, and  your advice. I told my manager that a therapist and GP believed I had autism. She was excited, I work with young children who have ASD and my manager wants me to be an example to parents of how you can still live a fulfilling life. I honestly don't want this and will let her know, I feel that parents may question my professionalism. At the moment I would like a diagnosis, just to confirm, though I'm not sure why I need that validation. My whole life now makes sense to me. The things I hated about myself I can see in a different light. I have only shared this with my husband and manager at work.

Again, thank you so much for your insight.

Thank you Connor, you are amazing! And it definitely is a super power. You have helped and I appreciate it very much.

I see nothing inherently wrong with self identification.

As a matter of interest here is a fairly lengthy tale of my move from self diagnosis to formal one. It has a cautionary element as regards employment but the rest is positive.

I self diagnosed just over 20 years ago. At the time I worked in adult mental health and often with Autistic people who were unwell. I triangulated my evaluation with opinions of clinical colleagues. At the time this felt enough and once done I didnt talk about it to anyone as I dint feel the need to. Over recent years, especially as I began to work more with younger people on the spectrum I had felt hindered in being open and honest with clients and their families in relation to speaking from the perspective of personal experience as opposed to professional training. Just over a year ago I went through a formal diagnosis procedure. I wasn't expecting the changes that this brought about.....

At the time I was working for a private social care organisation providing services you young adults with Learning Disabilities and Autism. I thought that when I informed the senior management of my diagnosis they would view this positively - how wrong I was. The CEO told me that he was really worried about families knowing this as they might question the competence of the organisation for having someone with Autism in a key role. I was told that I must 'keep this quiet'. Major components of my role were given to other people and I was sidelined to the periphery of decision making. This is the first time that I had been treated like this in a long NHS, Local Authority and independent sector career in care. At least I now had personal experience of how it feelt to be treated differently due to a diagnostic label!

On a personal level things changed too. The process led me to reflect on my life in a way that I hadn't so far. Many things, events when I was child, my very difficult teenage years and transition into adulthood, failed marriages, anxiety and mood disorders and much more began to make sense. I began to move away more a default state of self criticism, guilt and shame to a more balanced state. I stopped being so hard on myself on a day to day basis and felt less compelled to engage in exhausting masking behaviour. I concluded that I should have left it so long after my initial suspicions and self diagnosis to have things confirmed. My family also now had a formal model by which understand my 'eccentric' behaviour and this was helpful all round.

As regards my work situation I started to resolve the situation via formal mechanisms and relationships deteriorated with key managers. It was clear that they wanted me gone and in the end I left with a financial settlement. Part of me wanted to make the whole thing public and show NHS and Local Authority commissioner what the culture of the organisation was at the top - and how this must influence every part of services, By then though I had enough and just wanted to get away from the stress and arguments. I left quietly with a financial settlement. Part of me thinks I owed it to other people with Autism to act in a more political way and draw everyone's attention to these people - but another part thinks that it was right to do what was best for me at the time considering how stressed I felt. I probably need more time to reflect on this.

This prompted some major changes for me.

I now had a formal diagnosis on my NHS health record - something my GP referred to but in a positive way as regards asking whether I need referral for any support. He said that it was a good thing that there was this point of reference on the system in case there was a need to access any additional support in the future.

I brought forward my plans to move from the South East of England to my wife's home area in the South West. I went back to work for the NHS in services for children with disabilities. I was open about my diagnosis as I didnt want to go through the same employment issues again. The difference in attitude compared to me previous employer was like night and day. In my new post, the fact that I was Autistic was viewed as a positive asset. Clients and parents could speak to a health professional who could speak from personal as well as professional experience. The clinical team that I had joined began to refer more complex cases to me and use me increasingly for consultative work around Autism including being involved in a new ASC service. Work wise I feel that I am at my most productive and fulfilled for many years.

In summary - I view the process of self diagnosis / identification as perfectly valid, At no point did I feel like a fraud to myself - however as I didnt talk about it to others then I am not sure how it would have felt from that perspective. The move to formal diagnosis had implications work wise that I hadnt anticipated (perhaps I was too naïve) but I ended up in a much better place as a result.

We are all different and have to follow our own path - self diagnosis / identification may well be absolutely fine for some. 

Cool - it takes real inner-strength to be open, true and honest.    You self-awareness will really help you through life - especially to avoid the stress-inducing parts. 

I hve had the autism diagnosis since 2013 (i was 13 at the time). In 2016 I finally accepted that i have this disabilitly and ive got it for life so instead of keeping it a secret i opened up about it and it was the best thing i have ever done. I now have a page on facebook called Autism And Me and i upload about my life and my diagnosis to help and raise awareness. Im 20 now and it was the best thing i have ever done.

REMEMBER THIS:  Only be open and honest about it if you feel like it is the right thing to do for you or belive it could help you

Everyone is different in their own unique way and the hardest part is to embrace your flaw which turns out autism my superpower !!!

i jop this helps you out !!!

Under 70 means severe learning difficulties. I've not seen the referral letter or reply to the GP, but I will be requesting copies.

that's utter nonsense! are you sure this is the case? did they sit you down and IQ test you at the GPs? 

My wait was 2.5 years on the NHS but I have to say it is really worth it. when speaking to lots of people (formal and informal settings) and be able to refer to a professional/clinical opinion. You get less of the challenge back.  

Thank you so very much!

Like I mentioned earlier - if you've got your life the way you want it, then it's just a piece of paper - it will not change anything about you - it's really only of use if your life has hit the buffers and things need to change - a diagnosis can be helpful in those circumstances.

You also have to remember - the 'expert' measuring you is probably NT - what do they *really* know about life as an autie?

I love it! Thank you! I work in early years with children who have ASD, it's a little self indulgent but I feel I can be myself and be their biggest advocate at the same time.

I'm really trying to accept myself, I thought a diagnosis would help. Is it enough that a therapist and GP screening says I'm on the spectrum? I don't know, still trying to sort things out in my head. I do finally feel that there is a place I belong. Not sure if I need it validated by an expert of not.

I don't know if you have developed 'autie-dar' yet - a radar for spotting others like yourself - you'll find us tucked away in niche jobs - places where the job requires something special - knowledge or skills or thoroughness or massive memories and organisational skills - I'm finding almost every curator or demonstrator or anyone volunteering in museums are all just like us.

I think there is a vast army of undiagnosed 'high functioning' auties who just slipped through the net when they were young.   I suspect all of my life-long friends are aspies - all successful in their own way and able to hide in plain sight - their quirks and interests became their careers - software, pilot, tech companies, engineers etc.

Embrace your uniqueness - exploit it - have fun with it!  

Wow, thank you. I never feel I'm owed anything, more overwhelmingly grateful when I let myself slip and not everyone runs away thinking I'm weird.

You can take the knowledge as a huge advantage for yourself - if you know yourself and your strengths and weaknesses then you can decide how you want to live.      The biggest problem if if your expectation of what life 'owes' you doesn't match with your reality.

Your aidie, I've been given some amazing advice from NAS and I know I should fight for others. I like to think of myself as strong, but at the moment I just feel overwhelmed by the thought of the fight. I'm thinking of asking someone I know to help, that's actually a big step for me.

fight for a diagnosis --- u will be helping those autistics coming behind you. Imagine if A&E was no longer diagnosing  broken bones !  Have you contacted the CAB for legal advice? I personally would be writing to my MP. 

Thank you Plastic. I really just want to be able to make sense of myself, to longer see personality flaws and to start to accept myself.

If you know you're ASD then you can take your own steps to look after your mental well-being - there's loads of advice on here..  

A diagnosis is essential if you are looking for support or workplace adjustments because you might not be taken seriously.

It can be done privately-  £800-£2000 according to recent replies on here-  if you're working, your company health insurance might pay for it.

My diagnosis in my 40s was private (insurance paid) - from talking to GP to formal diagnosis was just a few weeks.  

Oh my gosh that's so very true!

Not much of a spectrum if they only diagnose one end of it! 

Disclosing anything about ASD Is difficult I think. You're right, there are pros and cons to consider. It's an emotional minefield.