Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
Does anyone know of any parental support groups in the Worcester area - formal or informal !
My son was finally diagnosed with Aspergers in December, just weeks after his 7th birthday, following a traumatic year at school. I have worried about his tantrums and aggressive behaviour since he was 3 but it never occurred to me that it might be an ASD.
He is my eldest son so I had no point of reference. His Dad and I split up when he was only a few months old, so I was a single mum for the first couple of years, and we are very close ,ost of the time. Since reading the books his Dad and I actually agree that his dad was probably on the spectrum too, which explains a lot. I now have a new partner and a second son and when I watch him playing I realise just how different their imagination and social interaction is - it is almost comical they are so far apart. I sometimes wonder how I didn't spot it before.
The hardest part is dealing with the aggressive outbursts. He is the most loving and affectionate little boy one minute and extremely intelligent, then a few minutes later he is tearing pictures off the walls and throwing books at my head telling me he hates me ! He hits, kicks and throws things. We haven't worked out all of the triggers yet and I suspect we never will - it is emotionally draining.
My partner is great with him ( has more patience than I do ! ) but we don't have any family support nearby so it can get pretty stressful when he is going through a bad patch. I am hoping that this community will give me a bit of perspective and stop me going insane !
We are just about to start the formal process of Statementing.
I don't know any other families with autistic children, and it would be so nice to meet other parents who are experiencing the same issues.
I am the very proud Auntie of James now 20 years old, diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome 15 years ago, now in his 2nd year at Derby University studying Maths, playing rugby, working at Edgbaston Cricket Ground during holidays to earn his own money and simply enjoying life. I may be biased but he is a wonderful young man: clever, handsome, funny and most loving. And yes, still struggling with Anger Management issues sometimes, finding certain social situations a little baffling and scarey and keen to find a new girlfriend!
Although he attended mainstream schools in Birmingham which purported to have specialist knowledge and support, it was through the sheer dedication, determination and unconditional love of my sister in law, Helen and brother, Richard.....and the courage of James himself that he is now planning an independent future. With a little bit of help from his excellent Uni mentor and his proud and loving family.
It's been tough.....very tough......and they'll always be issues to deal with.....but your son/your daughter can succeed and enjoy a great future. And a happy life. There is always hope, when you love someone as dearly as we love "our James."