Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, im Ruth and now 51. My niece has recently been diagnosed with Autism. Her behaviours and triggers are very similar to how i was as a child but i was called 'difficult', forward, , 'creative' and then as a teen, rebellious. I do think I'm autistic. It makes so much sense. But, after having been bullied and abused, I'm now in a good place. But, I still mess up. Am still often misunderstood. What I'm worried about is that having a diagnosis will make me relive the past, I suppose.
yes it does i suddenly remembered a huge fight between my mum and the headmaster of my primary school ,,,, it suddenly made sense. But the reliving just makes more sense and your mind closes these things down so it sorta good.
working with my autistic nephew on his models etc and seeing one of his minor meltdowns which i caused suddenly made me realise that I my be more like him than i realised. SO my Nephew helped me go for an assessment.
I recommend u do go for a diagnosis just so u know before it is too late. It would mean u have a real connection to your niece. You would be unstable and sensitive for 3-6 months after getting the diagnosis but then you will settle down, in my case, in a better place.
getting a diagnosis is the start of the healing and acceptance of you and your autism
finally I just love the "But, I still mess up", that is such a good thought,,,, follow it with "but I am handling everything OK"