Newly discovered I am Autistic

Hey folks,

I'm 39, and recently discovered that I am highly likely to have Autism. A close personal friend of my is a Counselling psychologist, who I discussed this with, and she agreed I show many of the common signs. I am very high functioning, I have led a successful career in the design industry, and am actually currently studying for a Psychology and Counselling undergrad via the Open Uni. I always just thought that was the way I was, but this recent discovery has kind-of made me reflect on much of my life.

I thought I'd list some of the "signs" that might identify me as Autistic, to see if anyone else recognises them in themselves! (some are adapted from lists I found on the NHS website).

  • I find it confusing trying to understand why others are thinking or feeling something, or why they want to do seemingly common activities, such as going on holiday, or for a drive to a random location.
  • I am very anxious about social situations, and tend avoid them if I can.
  • I don’t find it hard to make friends, but I do prefer to be on your own most of the time where I can control my environment, and just look after myself.
  • I often seem blunt, and often inappropriate, causing issues in the workplace.
  • I can say how I feel, but overly worry about how it will be received, and that I will upset someone.
  • I’m very particular about things, placement of objects, alignments, knowing where things are located, the feel of certain fabrics or the fit of clothing, a single out-of-place hair, my spot on the couch.
  • I watch the same TV shows over, and over again, rather than watching something new.
  • I take some things quite literally – I understand sarcasm or phrases like "break a leg”, but need to know an exact time to expect someones arrival, for e.g. “around 3pm” won’t satisfy me, and I’ll become anxious about that.
  • I tend to have same routine every day and get very anxious if it changes, or I have to leave the comfort of my own environment.
  • I understand social "rules", such as not talking over people, but I feel an overwhelming need to interrupt at times, especially if it’s a topic I’m interested in.
  • I don’t avoid eye contact, instead I try hard to make it, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable usually.
  • Physical distance to someone sometimes bothers me, it feels uncomfortable when I’m not seeking it, even with a romantic partner.
  • I notice small details, or patterns in almost everything.
  • I become obsessed with fleeting interests in certain subjects or activities for short and long periods, often being described as “having another fad”.
  • I like to plan, and research things before doing them, and having to deviate from the plan makes me extremely anxious, often times I become too anxious once I become informed, so then avoid the activity.
  • I get extremely annoyed when I tell people I am Autistic and they dispute it, or minimise the fact I told them, and act like it’s just who I am, not necessarily Autistic. (I haven't told many people, but was surprised by how they responded)

Has anyone else had problems with telling people, and feeling like they don't believe you, or similar? I'm also unsure as to whether I should seek a formal diagnosis, as I don't think I'd really get any "benefits" from it, other than being able to produce evidence to non-believers. My 12 year old son is also suspected to have ASD, so I am sort-of exploring things from both of our perspectives.

Sorry for the war and peace intro :)

Rich.

Parents
  • Hi Rich

    There's some good reasons for getting diagnosed as an adult - the main one is for future protection.    

    You may not be aware but most of us 'mask' to fit it - a fake persona that gives a user-friendly social interface where we have pre-programmed responses to most situations - you might not even realise you do it until someone asks you honestly "how do you feel?" and you are suddenly stuck - do you give the usual "Fine, you ok?" answer or do you actually know how you feel?

    Unfortunately, this constant performance to fit in is very draining - both physically and mentally - but when you're young, you don't notice.   As life goes on, your life may get too complex for the mask to hide any 'odd' responses or you just might not be able to sustain the energy expenditure so things can get difficult in the work environment -  a diagnosis can help you if that happens.

  • Ah the old "Yeah fine, you?" situation. I have difficulties with that;  I'm actually quite good at picking up on when people aren't fine, when they say they are... but then of course, I'm like a dog with a bone, constantly prodding at them to give up the facade and tell me what's going on, and then subsequently I cannot rest until I try to solve their problems for them. It causes me a lot of distress to watch someone be self destructive, when I feel like I can help; but am starting to realise, not everyone wants to be helped, and they just want someone to listen and empathise; so I'm working on that!

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  • Ah the old "Yeah fine, you?" situation. I have difficulties with that;  I'm actually quite good at picking up on when people aren't fine, when they say they are... but then of course, I'm like a dog with a bone, constantly prodding at them to give up the facade and tell me what's going on, and then subsequently I cannot rest until I try to solve their problems for them. It causes me a lot of distress to watch someone be self destructive, when I feel like I can help; but am starting to realise, not everyone wants to be helped, and they just want someone to listen and empathise; so I'm working on that!

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