Wandering if I could have an opinion on autism

Hi I'm LJ I've been looking at this site for a few months now and after a not great day I thought I'd try and put something on here. I dont really know how to put all this down so bare with me. So I read maybe a book a day, I'm very much a loner who likes my own company, I hate social interactions I become very anxious. I cant make on the moment decisions, my partner has to give me a days notice really if she wants to do anything, I have to get my head round things. I dont really have any feelings towards people, my uncle had a heart attack not long back and I felt nothing. I struggle voicing what I think or feel. I need routines and I like things done the same way. I became aware of autism in a character I was reading and I could relate. I become very anxious about things that i struggle to get my words out. I went to the doctor about this and he sent me for counselling which has helped a bit. She agreed with the autism traits but didn't want to confirm. I did an online test and it said that I was, but i dont know to trust that or not. I've not told anybody about this apart from my partner who is very supportive. But I told my only friend and 3 weeks later I've not had a response which I think had made me a bit well I dont know. So I was wandering if from your knowledge that you think autism sounds correct. I think I'd feel at ease a bit without keep trying to fit in and I can relax a bit more if this makes sense. Sorry I know I've gone on a bit.

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  • Hi thanks for your opinion I came up as 32 on the tests but I know what you are saying so thankyou. I'll try and engage in conversation and learn more on here. Could I ask though have you spoke to your friend since? And did you just pretend it was never mentioned? 

  • Yeah, I've thrown it out there 2-3 times as a comment, but he never picks it up. Which is totally unlike him as normally he's very attentive to what's going on for me. So I think there's a story there. He's similar to me, but much worse shutdowns, but then finds flirting much easier and can seem quite NT there. I can imagine people having commented his dad being asperger, or his brother being autistic (which is an abusive relationship), people teasing and bullying him in school about it but that he feels he's got beyond that now, and his ex girlfriend was autistic and suffered a lot of meltdowns and other difficult behaviour. So maybe he just doesn't want to go there.

    I was sad about it cos we are close and normally he's supportive and it's a big deal for me.

    I've one male friend who gets it, was a lightbulb moment for him, and he spots the traits getting in my way when thinking about problems which is helpful, and laughs at times too. 

  • Yes I know wot u mean about being sad she was my only friend and it was a big deal telling her I've not even told my family. Its just put me off alot about saying anything in the future to anybody. My counsellor said it gud to talk but I'm not so sure now that's y I've came on here. I cant txt her cus I dont no wot to say now. 

  • Take your time with it with her. Text her about other stuff, keep the friendship going. Then you could say to her at somepoint something like, "I'm wondering what might be going on, I mentioned my autism to you but you didn't seem to pick up on it. I'm just wondering what that was about, if anything?" It may just be she was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. A friend recently told me some stuff and it looked like he was gonna cry and I didn't delve into it cos I was caught off guard but do plan to go back there when I see him. Chat to your counselor about it, it is a big feal, and is sad.

    Telling people has been patchy for me. The friend above is good and takes it into account now when chatting and does see it, but was sceptical at first. One old friend that i rarely ever see was like 'of course, how come we didn't twig' and rattled of lots of traits, and also areas where autists typically struggle but i don't. One friend totally and categorically dismissed it at first but has come around and sees it now. Mostly people have barely acknowledged it and mived on, or commented 'yeah, i always thought there was so ething strange about you'. My sister was dismissive even though she'd known all my life cos i'd been diagnosed as a kid but my parents hadn't talked to me about it.

    Folk are odd. They can lack skills, or capacity, or info can disrupt the friendship dynamic and contract. But do keep the friend, do go back to it, and do choose who you want to tell.

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  • Take your time with it with her. Text her about other stuff, keep the friendship going. Then you could say to her at somepoint something like, "I'm wondering what might be going on, I mentioned my autism to you but you didn't seem to pick up on it. I'm just wondering what that was about, if anything?" It may just be she was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. A friend recently told me some stuff and it looked like he was gonna cry and I didn't delve into it cos I was caught off guard but do plan to go back there when I see him. Chat to your counselor about it, it is a big feal, and is sad.

    Telling people has been patchy for me. The friend above is good and takes it into account now when chatting and does see it, but was sceptical at first. One old friend that i rarely ever see was like 'of course, how come we didn't twig' and rattled of lots of traits, and also areas where autists typically struggle but i don't. One friend totally and categorically dismissed it at first but has come around and sees it now. Mostly people have barely acknowledged it and mived on, or commented 'yeah, i always thought there was so ething strange about you'. My sister was dismissive even though she'd known all my life cos i'd been diagnosed as a kid but my parents hadn't talked to me about it.

    Folk are odd. They can lack skills, or capacity, or info can disrupt the friendship dynamic and contract. But do keep the friend, do go back to it, and do choose who you want to tell.

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