Hello everyone,

Hello Sarah

Good to meet you. My 17 year old daughter was also diagnosed with ASC just before Christmas after four years in the darkness of not knowing what was going on with her and how to support her effectively.  She already had a diagnosis of anxiety and OCD but was found not to have ADHD. She also suffers from low mood/depression which we think is caused by her having to cope in a world not designed for her. Now that she has this diagnosis we have so many more sources of help and support to turn to, like this Forum. Her college is putting together a support plan and offering her a keyworker, councillor and mentor. The NHS are still dragging their heels but they have not been much source of support anywhere along her journey to improved mental health and we paid for a private diagnosis.

I was also going to ask the Forum about weighted blankets. My daughter wants one but I think that the heavy duvet and blanket that she likes is doing the job anyway. 

Best wishes

I also think my daughters depression and anxiety was down to the fact of not getting diagnosed with ASD and ADHD sooner. Friendships have always been difficult for her as the people she has encountered just don't understand, so she has given up on having friends (at the moment) which is really sad. 

That is sad Sarah. My daughter does have a small group of friends who chose her as opposed to her choosing them. Interestingly they are even more socially awkward than she is although none of them have ASC? She used to be frustrated by them, often saying that they 'weren't like her' (they aren't they don't have ASC) but since her diagnosis she has become more accepting of their differences and can see where they help her in practical ways like taking the bus home from college with her. She is unable to do this alone. They are totally accepting of her diagnosis and do accept her just for being her. She finds it easier to befriend boys as these friendships seem more straightforward and less emotionally engaged. She definitely finds it easier to communicate through her phone/social media than in person. Would your daughter ever join an online group?

F

nice contribution

Before her diagnosis my daughter would repeatedly say that there was no one like her at her school and that although she had friends they weren't like her, didn't have the same interests or values. Now that she has her diagnosis she seems accepting of this difference and it is OK. She is autistic, they are not, they have major differences but they can still be friends. This is really helpful for her in understanding what is valuable in a friendship and hopefully enabling her to extend her friendship group to others that are not like her. We'll see. She has only had her diagnosis for four weeks. We are all learning.

That's funny, I had more platonic boy friends in school. I just didn't gel with the other girls.

It was a massive taboo for a girl from my background to be friends with so many boys but my parents couldn't stop me making friends at school. It did mean I couldn't go to anything after school or at the weekend unless it was school sanctioned. 

That's funny, I had more platonic boy friends in school. I just didn't gel with the other girls.

It was a massive taboo for a girl from my background to be friends with so many boys but my parents couldn't stop me making friends at school. It did mean I couldn't go to anything after school or at the weekend unless it was school sanctioned. 

nice contribution

Before her diagnosis my daughter would repeatedly say that there was no one like her at her school and that although she had friends they weren't like her, didn't have the same interests or values. Now that she has her diagnosis she seems accepting of this difference and it is OK. She is autistic, they are not, they have major differences but they can still be friends. This is really helpful for her in understanding what is valuable in a friendship and hopefully enabling her to extend her friendship group to others that are not like her. We'll see. She has only had her diagnosis for four weeks. We are all learning.