I'm NT and my partner has Asperger's (self diagnosed but seeking formal). We had split before he found out/had his light bulb moment has he calls it. I was feeling confused, neglected when he was in a bad place which was all the time! But he is the best partner I have ever had when he's in the good place.
He's had a terrible childhood, we believe his Dad had it too. He stopped speaking to his dad years ago, became more isolated and has no friends. Met me, we had a daughter who is now 2 & he already has a 15yr boy who also has Asperger's. His son and him don't have the relationship he thinks or wants and I fear our daughter will feel how I do, she has already been scared when he had a meltdown and smashed up the clothes airer in front of her whilst I was in another room. He scares me when it happens!
He isn't a bad man and I know every time I say anything he will interpret this as negative, despite reading books I don't know who to communicate with him in a way that he doesn't feel horrid or pained. He tells me he doesn't want this relationship, we have again split up, but I still love him, I believe (maybe I am stupid) that if he gets help we can have a great relationship... but I know I cant' force him.
Should i literally just leave him to walk around ignoring me & our daughter, live separate lives until he can afford to move out? He wants to stay here living bill free to save his money.. am I mad?
thank you in advance for any ideas/support
Emma