Has anyone else brought up their daughter thinking autism is part of her make-up, but never getting any help?

I'm the mother of a 20 year old woman who I believe is very likely somewhere on the Autism spectrum. She struggled with behaviour at home during primary school, and school backed up a referral to CAMHS. Her assessment at the time basically said that we needed to attend parenting classes because we weren't dealing with her difficult behaviour correctly, and she was behaving oddly at school, at one point she was accused of deliberately baiting another pupil who bullied her. She was very bright, particularly at Maths, and very sporty, so I think school just thought she'd got a bit above herself. Basically, they thought she was spoiled and we were at fault. She had a very direct way of talking to other children that didn't go down well with some teachers and pupils.  She had some 1-1 counselling support from an amazing woman who worked in the school, and really benefitted from having the time to talk about and work on her feelings. Bullying started again immediately at secondary school, but they nipped it in the bud, and encouraged her sports interests so she settled down. She has a history of anxiety which became overwhelming during her last years at secondary school, when school sent her home on study leave because she was unmanageable in class: she was desperately unhappy, repeatedly being told she wasn't hitting the targets she could achieve, and consequently struggled when she went to 6th form. She continued to be extremely anxious and depressed, and eventually another CAMHS referral was done. She re-started her first year of A-Levels after having a leg operation, during which time she fell pregnant, although we didn't know. She concealed the pregnancy until it became obvious, and even then, would not countenance it as a possibility. She was in total denial until her baby was born, and I had been unable to persuade her to get any medical checks done until she was in labour.  To cut a long story short, the patterns of behaviour have not been helped by any of the interventions that have been made, limited as they are. She now has two children, the second another concealed pregnancy. She lives independently with them, but struggles with depression and anxiety still. She's exceptionally bright in some regards, and very immature in others. Im sure both pregnancies resulted in a complete lack of understudying of relationships and boundaries - despite this being something we talked about at home. She can discuss things and appear to understand, but cannot actually relate them to herself, or use information to make decisions about herself. She has struggled to engage with the limited support available, and does such a good job of caring for the children that no social or medical services are interested in supporting her. She's made numerous attempts at furthering her education, but just cant seem to manage the anxiety this brings with it. We've discussed the possibility of  autism, and she agrees it's likely. She cant bring herself to engage with any "parenting activities" because the anxiety of new people and groups is too much. She has difficulties with over-eating and drinking, and I worry about her and her babies, I just don't know how to help her for the best. Sometimes I have felt like an extremely poor parent, and at other times I can see so clearly the challenges she faces, but have been unable to persuade any professional, medical or education, to really support further intervention. Her last personal tutor at college was an amazing support to her, and tried so hard to help. I bumped into her recently and told me she felt sure that autism was the root of her challenges. We have a good relationship, and talk about things openly and regularly. Where do we start with looking for help? Where can I encourage my daughter to go (real or virtual)? Sorry for the massively long post - this is just a snapshot of stuff really, I could go on and on, just so desperate to help her make the best of life for her and her two little ones.