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Refusal to accept autism

NAS70047
over 3 years ago

My 18yr old son was diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 11yrs old. He is now asking us to find him a cure for his autism and gets cross when he tells his friends how he feels and finds them unable to understand why he hates being autistic. Today he asked us to get him a second opinion as he is refusing to acknowledge that he is autistic now. He is currently having counselling for a separate issue that he has been on a waiting list for for a while and he has been calmer since starting counselling. His meltdowns have also lessened but this denial seems to have replaced that. I am just wondering if anyone has been through a similar issue, either themselves or with a child? If so any advice with how to handle this?

Thanks 

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Thanks Blue and thanks Nick. My son has similar feelings to you Blue by the sounds of it. He has recently noticed that his friends have girlfriends and he feels like he should have one too. This has consumed his thoughts and he feels like he will never achieve a meaningful relationship which makes him hate himself. He reads a lot of online stuff about hatred towards autistic people, especially in America and this also troubles him and makes him hate his diagnosis. He is scared of the outside world and I understand that but his main view of it is through the hatred people spew online where they can say hateful things and sit back amongst their anonymity and enjoy the pain and hurt they have caused. He has some friends online and he has a number of autistic friends who are also high functioning but as my son is being so negative at present they have withdrawn from him and this is making my son spiral. He is stuck in a cycle of negativity and I am looking for ways to help him out of it. 

    I am so sorry that you have experienced such discrimination. I really think that better education in schools and workplaces regarding autism is what is needed. It is the only way myths and prejudices can be broken down. 

  • over 3 years ago in reply to NAS70047

    Hi NAS66574,

    This has been incredibly insightful and helpful so firstly thank you for taking the time to reply. 

    My son has always accepted the diagnosis before, it is very recently that this denial and want for a second opinion has occured. It is useful to know that a second opinion might help him either in acceptance or new diagnosis. 

    He has a lot of support both at home and in college. His counselling, which he has recently started, has afforded him the opportunity to say things which, he can openly say at home and is encouraged to be as open as possible, but he worries they might upset me. I can become tearful and this sometimes makes him think that he should bottle things up rather than share and upset me, but as I have tried to explain, I get upset because it hurts as a parent to hear your child talk about wanting to hurt themselves or not be in the world anymore. I am glad he can tell me these things so that we can talk things through and get him the help he needs but I understand the help in speaking to a trained professional too. 

    We have, in the last few days, found a trigger which had been causing his behaviour to worsen and removed that trigger so he is slightly calmer. Your advice will be acted upon though. I am extremely grateful for the insight. 

    Thanks

Reply
  • over 3 years ago in reply to NAS70047

    Hi NAS66574,

    This has been incredibly insightful and helpful so firstly thank you for taking the time to reply. 

    My son has always accepted the diagnosis before, it is very recently that this denial and want for a second opinion has occured. It is useful to know that a second opinion might help him either in acceptance or new diagnosis. 

    He has a lot of support both at home and in college. His counselling, which he has recently started, has afforded him the opportunity to say things which, he can openly say at home and is encouraged to be as open as possible, but he worries they might upset me. I can become tearful and this sometimes makes him think that he should bottle things up rather than share and upset me, but as I have tried to explain, I get upset because it hurts as a parent to hear your child talk about wanting to hurt themselves or not be in the world anymore. I am glad he can tell me these things so that we can talk things through and get him the help he needs but I understand the help in speaking to a trained professional too. 

    We have, in the last few days, found a trigger which had been causing his behaviour to worsen and removed that trigger so he is slightly calmer. Your advice will be acted upon though. I am extremely grateful for the insight. 

    Thanks

Children