Is it worth it?

Hi,

I’m trying to figure out whether or not it’s worth me giving everything my all to try and get the life that I want. My dad says that I can get such a life if I try really hard and overcome the barriers like anxiety and ocd. My mum says it’s not worth the mass amount of pressure it’s going to cause me. I’m confused about it and don’t know what to do.

Currently I’m at home, where I’ve been all my life. I’m 23 and have never had a job yet, I did look a few years back but no one hired me. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I rarely go out and despite driving sometimes with my sister I don’t hold a license.

The life I want is one as a husband and father, someone who works and can drive as well. On the grand scheme of things these aren’t that difficult for most people but for someone with Autism like me and you it’s about the hardest thing I can think of doing. I do want to make these things happen but at the same time I know it’s years of work. I don't cope with stress and I have little problems with the autism which make things extra difficult, ADHD, emetophobia and anxiety disorder. My ocd and anxiety aren’t in a good place and in the past the gp has been less than helpful. I feel like I’m on my own and only I can turn my life around but I have no idea how to do it, or if I can withstand the pressure.

Any help with this would be appreciated. Thanks!

-Goose.

Parents
  • Anything is worth it if you want it that badly. Your Mom only wants to protect you, but sometimes over protection can do more harm than good. If you believe strongly enough in what you want to achieve, you go for it. We have one life, live it to the best of your ability. 

    Start of by writing down your goals and pick one to work on. So for example learning to drive could be your first goal.  Focus your attention on one thing at a time and maybe things would not be as overwhelming as say trying to learn to drive and looking for a job at the same time.  Your Autism will make things harder for you and maybe some things wont be possible but it's worth giving things a try.  Not everyone with Autism will have a job, a marriage and children because you all have different abilities and challenges. My brother is 31 with Autism and will never leave home, cant work and has no life really. My youngest daughter is 9 with Autism and I will guide her to be and do what she wants in life and even though things will be harder for her, I'll be there every step of the way with her.

    They say Einstein had Autism, look at what he accomplished, he didnt let his Autism hold him back even though he probably faced challenges especially as Autism was not known in his day like it is now. 

    Life is going to throw challenges to you and you should be so proud of even wanting the things you do. Dont give up on your dreams, even if the way there is harder than it should be. You may suprise yourself and those around you with your ability to cope with things you've not faced before. 

    All the best

Reply
  • Anything is worth it if you want it that badly. Your Mom only wants to protect you, but sometimes over protection can do more harm than good. If you believe strongly enough in what you want to achieve, you go for it. We have one life, live it to the best of your ability. 

    Start of by writing down your goals and pick one to work on. So for example learning to drive could be your first goal.  Focus your attention on one thing at a time and maybe things would not be as overwhelming as say trying to learn to drive and looking for a job at the same time.  Your Autism will make things harder for you and maybe some things wont be possible but it's worth giving things a try.  Not everyone with Autism will have a job, a marriage and children because you all have different abilities and challenges. My brother is 31 with Autism and will never leave home, cant work and has no life really. My youngest daughter is 9 with Autism and I will guide her to be and do what she wants in life and even though things will be harder for her, I'll be there every step of the way with her.

    They say Einstein had Autism, look at what he accomplished, he didnt let his Autism hold him back even though he probably faced challenges especially as Autism was not known in his day like it is now. 

    Life is going to throw challenges to you and you should be so proud of even wanting the things you do. Dont give up on your dreams, even if the way there is harder than it should be. You may suprise yourself and those around you with your ability to cope with things you've not faced before. 

    All the best

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