Hi advice would be great

hi - I do think having strong emotional reactions to certain things can be part of being autistic + trying to control those emotions can be v difficult.  There's also learnt behaviour.  My son can get genuinely v upset at times. Now + then it can be calculated behaviour, such as being upset about something, but putting it on more to see if he can get his own way.  The "putting it on" doesn't happen often.   Also some of our children are emotionally younger than their years.  I think this is important because it's reflected in their behaviour.  When my son was living in the wrong environment for someone with autism he used to get terribly upset + self-harm.  Once out of that environment the self-harming stopped.  His emotional upset wd be rapidly followed by physical reactions such as sweating + rocking.  He wd wind up v quickly.  He's much happier now, has a lot more control over his own life so he isn't usually put into positions where he gets distressed.  Whilst we knew certain things upset him, it took a move to new accommodation before we got the full picture.  Once he was in a quieter less stressful environment with people who understood autism + him, a lot more became clear.  We went from that point.  We found a lot of his previous distress had been justifiable.  As an individual he likes a quieter environment, where he can do "his own thing" + be included in decision making.  He has an understanding that he has rights + he exercises them in a reasonable way.  So it might be worth looking at what may be the triggers for the behaviours.  bw

My 16 yr old son recently diagnosed with Aspergers is so difficult to live with. He is v often rude, argumentative and verY inflexible. The rest of the family have to walk on egg shells around him. It's so hard to know what is Aspergers and what is normal teenage behaviours 

ps quote"The New Latin word autismus (English translation autism) was coined by the Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler in 1910 as he was defining symptoms of schizophrenia. He derived it from the Greek word autós (αὐτός, meaning self), and used it to mean morbid self-admiration, referring to "autistic withdrawal of the patient to his fantasies, against which any influence from outside becomes an intolerable disturbance".["

I used to have extreme tantrums when I did not get my own way: screaming, clawing my face, slamming doors, throwing things etc. I still sometimes stamp my feet and get very upset when I don't get my own way, although I have become a lot better at controlling my emotions. I can't speak for others, and not all people with Autism have tantrums, but what you are describing sounds like 'normal' spectrum behaviour to me, particularly for a teenager.

Hi there,

Can we all please be careful not give misleading information about what is and isn't on the autism spectrum? Hohner, neither eating disorders nor morbid preoccupations are on the spectrum; people on the spectrum may have them, but they're not essential.

Many thanks,

Alex R - mod

PS: 'Autism' doesn't have a Latin equivalent; but the word 'autism' derives from the Ancient Greek word for 'self'.

Death morbid is on the autism spectrum, I suffer from this also when stressed.  I read as much positive stuff as I can

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/dealing-with-a-fear-of-death/

The latin for Autism is "self" so tantrum may be a control of the environment thing, so personally it is to do with the words you use and amount of control you allow. Remember 17 is called the rebel year by psychologists, were a teenager takes what they have learned by there parents and peers and from there own ego, so with hormones driving the energy of the body and mind,, it may be also part of the cycle. The key is communication with her and maybe help on a professional level to find a middle ground for growth and less stress

Good luck, remember take time out for yourself.