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:(

April

I’ve fallen in to a deep dark hole, mentally that is. I have Aspergers and will be 24 next February. I live alone and I have no one in my life who cares about me or loves me. I’m anxious, I’m depressed and I suffer from PTSD having seen my poor sis killed at the roadside. I suffer from sleepless nights because of nightmares and my head is tight all the time like someone’s pressing it hard. I hate life and I see no reason for me to even be here. The woman who bore me hates me and nobody else wants to know me. Every day I sit in my little home just staring at the wall thinking how nice it must be to just fall asleep and never wake again-no worries, no cares, just silence and bliss peace.
I feel like I’m alone in this world and no one gets me. They just see me like some girl who makes out that her problems are big when in fact they’re small. Well that’s not true. I should matter. I should be loved and cared for and my problems are big and they are killing me slowly but surely.

I just want to be loved but no one loves me. If I died today no one in my life would give a damn.

:( Please just someone help me through this. I just want someone to talk to

Parents

  • You DO matter, don’t let anybody tell you different.

    I have difficulties but if I’m honest they only care to a head a few years ago and I felt I’d got through things, light at end of tunnel etc. I’m struggling too at the min due to lockdown no lockdown stay in, go out but don’t go out ARGH. I also feel that nobody cares and if I died do what but I have managed to sort of park that.

    Have you contacted your GP? I know some are not great but if you ask to see a GP that specialises in autism it will help. I’ve had good and bad experience but I have found the best help comes from those who understand autism. They understand that what they suggest to NT’s won’t always be best for us.

    please don’t feel that nobody cares, I may not know you but I care, please message on here and you will see you will get support. Remember you do matter and anybody who says different ain’t worth knowing 

    take care xx 

  • in reply to xiv

    Thanks for caring and writing. Sorry it took me so long to respond.

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