Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I found out I might have Asperger's a few months ago. My brother was diagnosed with it when he was 23 and when it was put to me that I might have it too, I was very shocked and told them that I didn't as I was nothing like my brother. Also I'm 36 and it has never been mentioned before.
I have since done some reading as I started to question it and alot of what I've read could have been written about me....I could identify with so much of it. I now understand that Asperger's can be different in girls. It explains so much about all the struggles in my life and that maybe I'm not just a failure! I'm now tring to get assessed for a diagnosis....
If you're a girl in a similar position, it would be great to hear from you!
Thankyou very much DaisyGirl, that is really helpful...it is so nice to find people like me! I have read Aspergirls and I could identify with most of the traits she has written at the back, and the book has so much that I can relate to. I haven't read Tony Attwood's book though so I might have a read of that.
I am actually in the mental health services as I had a breakdown in 2003 and have been struggling very much since then....I've been given several different diagnoses but now I know I might be an aspie, that makes so much more sense!! I have a Dr and psychologist who I am really pushing to refer me for diagnosis.
I can identify with what you say about your experience, I have sensory issues with my hearing, certain noises really hurt and I carry earplugs around with me. I was bullied at school and really struggle to have friends, I was really shy when I was little and I used to sometimes totally freeze when with other people and although I'm a better at it now in certain ways, often it feels like I'm putting on a 'show' when I'm with other people and often have a meltdown afterwards. I also have to have structure and routimes and I can really panic sometimes if they are changed.
Thankyou for your advice!
Have you read the book Aspergirls by Rudy Simone? I think it is quite good, and the chart at the back is a very good list of female Aspergers traits. If you have a large proportion of these then you can use that as a way of starting to request the diagnosis. Also the best all round book, I think, is Tony Attwood's The complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.
I think, as an Aspegirls diagnosed as an adult, that the main difference between boys and girls with Asperger's is that girls have much more complete strategies for hiding their Aspergers traits This in turn can lead to a real struggle and mental tiredness because of always having to put on an "act" to fit in the NT world.
Did you suffer from meltdowns or shutdowns when you were a child? Did you have any of the following: disordered eating, sensory sensitivity, difficulty making friends, especially after age 8-10 years, special interests that you were obsessed with, anxiety issues as a child? My adult diagnosis was straightforward because I had medical records which listed all my (very strong) Aspergers traits since a child, plus as an adult I am very logical, and somewhat robotic, with a childlike demeanor and voice. Also because of sensory sensitivity I wear only soft clothes and no makeup etc. This meant the diagnosis had a long developmental history to work from plus I seem very Aspie in my normal day to day life so they could observe this. As Aspergers is developmental if you have good medical records this can make the diagnosis easier.
If you think you are Aspie you should start the diagnostic process. When you do make sure your first referral is to a psychologist/psychiatrist who is familiar with autism and qualified to make the diagnosis, this saves time as you will not need to be referred a second time to a specialist.
Best wishes.