Hello, just joined

Hello and welcome :) I think it’s great that you have joined up here - I totally understand your social struggles. I’m in the same boat and I’m making a real effort with being sociable to try and build both social skills and maybe make new friends along the way :) 

Hi, thanks =) The fact that you're making the effort is very commendable. I normally just lurk in the background, but I'll try to converse more with people too =)

Ion usually do the same but then I realised how being so isolated and lonely wasn’t helping my wellbeing - as such I decided to try to be proactive, although it doesn’t come naturally to me to be sociable. You should definitely converse with others more as you come across as an interesting person :) 

Ditto - see there’s always positives even to something as difficult as ASD. I grant it’s not always easy but I like to think it’s not all bad. I spend too much of my life researching - I’m a history geek! 

 I've just thought of something! I like researching and finding out about things.

=)

Yeah I think it would be easier. You will need to message me as your account has the default settings which doesn’t allow me to message you. My settings have been set to allow anyone to message me :) once you’ve initiated the conversation it will however let me reply I believe :) 

I think for me I love my analytical mindset and even done of my black and white thinking I find quite comforting. I think my least favourite traits relate to my social skills. 

I look forward to your message :) 

Okay, I don't mind chatting in private. It would probably be much easier =) 

I can't really think of any traits that I like, at the moment. It's difficult to know what is a trait and what isn't. I would probably get rid of the sensory difficulties. I can see when food looks delicious, but I wouldn't be able to eat them due to the smell or texture. The concentration issues would probably be my first choice, though. Imagine all of the things I'd be able to do then! Although, maybe a lot of my inability to concentrate stem from the sensory side (like unignorable sounds and textures). 

I look forward to being med-free! I think I have around 2 months left before I start being weaned off. I'll make sure that I'll use the time wisely and be productive.

=)

Fortunately my parents only ever text, my brother stays in touch via WhatsApp - so I’ve a system that works :) I may end up returning to social media sometime, but not for now. 

What your teachers said about you subs me up - but I guess I am what I am, I know my abilities and that’s what matters I guess.

By the way if it’s easier than using thus thread, feel free to send me a private message instead.   My account settings have been changed so anyone can message me :) just figured that may be slightly easier.

Heres a question... which of your traits do you like and which would you get rid of tomorrow if you had the chance?

Going med free is great but obviously only do it when it’s right for you :)  I won’t lie, it’s initially tough but once your body and head has adapted it feels good because you know you are back in control. 

That is great to hear that you're managing really well without medication =) I don't have the best willpower, but I will try to get my head together and follow my aspirations (without being too hard on myself). 

A quote that was used to describe me by various teachers throughout secondary school was: "You've got plenty in your head - the knowledge is all there. You just need to make the effort and apply yourself". Looking up other people on the spectrum's experiences, I found that a lot of other people had the same thing told to them.

Yes, that's true! The past is in the past, there's no changing it. What you can change is the now and the future. 

Social media is not healthy at all to people's mental wellbeing, no. My dad used to message us on Facebook, even though I kept saying that I don't go on it anymore. He now understands that if he wants to connect with me, he can do so through text. I use discord to chat with my friends as it's geared more towards gaming. 

=)

I totally get what you mean about customers feeling uncomfortable with a lack of eye contact. I used to work in retail but I usually tried to get into non-customer facing roles as it is where I was most comfortable. I didn’t know it was ASD then of course, I just knew what felt right and what didn’t. 

What you said about the glass half empty/ full analogy makes sense. I think we are fairly alike in this - I see myself as a realist - sometimes the realism is positive, sometimes negative but always very real, I think it’s a good way to be. I think I’m often viewed as a pessimist by others but I don’t think that’s the case - too many people are stuck in idealism and thus I think lose touch with reality.

I‘m actually off all medication now so it is possible to turn things right around. I still have spells where I’m not so good, but I’m so much better than I was - the fact I don’t need meds is testimony to that. I used to be I various meds so I think it’s quite an achievement. So I have full confidence that when the time is right you’ll manage too - it’s 90% willpower to be honest. 

I got a C in maths too (I was in higher tier) - when you consider how little I did in year 10 and 11 it’s not terrible, but I should have done better. My grades rarely reflect my ability which is frustrating as I’m naturally smart but don’t have grades that paint a fair picture of me but I try not to get too hung up on it... it’s in the past right? The future is what matters. 

I don’t use Facebook either. I use WhatsApp and that’s it. Like you I wasted too much of my life on social media and I don’t think it’s conducive to good mental wellbeing. I’m happy for people to email me, text or use WhatsApp. I don’t feel I need anything more - it works and I’m relatively laid back about people having my details - so yeah, don’t need Facebook! 

Sometimes eye contact comes easy to me, other times I have to force myself to do it - customers find it uncomfortable when I don't look at them when I'm talking to them =P I think I'm a bit better at reading people because I grew up in a household that could be toxic at times. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the way I was raised because it allowed me to be more independent and deal with situations myself, rather than being babied all the time. However, growing up with 3 other hormonal girls/women and a very masculine man, there were a lot of times I had to figure out the best way to react to others' moods.

A lot of ways I engage with other people is behaviour I've learned, to help my life be more bearable. I see my self as both a pessimist and an optimist. Using the "glass half full/empty" analogy, I think in a way that's more like "it's not completely full, but it's not empty either. We don't know what it contains: it could be tea, tap water, or it could be pee". I am extremely lucky for the level of support I've had over the last couple of years, and it's heartbreaking to read that other users in this forum are not so lucky =(

It's good to hear that you're doing better recently =) I'm also doing much better now as I have been prescribed medicine for my depression, am talking to my therapist on a regular basis, and am taking sleeping tablets to temporarily help with my insomnia. I know that these aren't a permanent fix and that I need to find more practical solutions, but they're currently helping me. 

I don't like it when artists change their sound to fit in with the "in-crowd". The whole point of listening to them is the fact that they don't follow trends. I'll give 'Nothing Personal' a listen, thanks =)

The one thing I never got my head around was algebra and trigonometry. Why are there so many equations? I was meant to do my GCSE maths in higher tier, but the school was worried that my low scores (E/F) would bring the average scores down, so I was told to do foundation tier along with a dozen other people from the class. Foundation tier was much easier, and I managed to get a "C" =)

I'd be terrible at surviving in the wilderness, too! I am definitely much too reliant on technology. I have to play video games and listen to music to help me wind down. A couple of years ago, my phone just stopped working. I was used to going on Facebook constantly, so the inability to do so was anguishing. I needed to listen to music, so my mother lent me one of her old phones so that I could play music on that. After a few weeks, I felt no need to go on FB and haven't installed it on my new phone. I realised how toxic and anti-social it was. I watched a "social experiment" documentary on Channel 4 a year or two ago, and it was about it normally takes at least three weeks to go "cold turkey" of something. I think the programme was called '21 Days', but I'm not entirely sure. 

Thank you =) I'll try to get back into writing as soon as I'm finished with the things I'm doing currently. Doing too much at once tends to overwhelm me, and I end up not doing anything for quite a while. 

I agree: the most recent episodes of HIGNFY feel extremely strange without the audience. You can almost hear the crickets chirping when someone tells a joke. I sometimes get jokes, I sometimes don't. My main difficulty is actually figuring out what they're saying. Everything I watch has to have subtitles. I feel like I can't hear/understand them otherwise. It just sounds they're speaking in a different language. 

I will definitely give Taskmaster a go, thanks =) 

Sometimes eye contact comes easy to me, other times I have to force myself to do it - customers find it uncomfortable when I don't look at them when I'm talking to them =P I think I'm a bit better at reading people because I grew up in a household that could be toxic at times. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the way I was raised because it allowed me to be more independent and deal with situations myself, rather than being babied all the time. However, growing up with 3 other hormonal girls/women and a very masculine man, there were a lot of times I had to figure out the best way to react to others' moods.

A lot of ways I engage with other people is behaviour I've learned, to help my life be more bearable. I see my self as both a pessimist and an optimist. Using the "glass half full/empty" analogy, I think in a way that's more like "it's not completely full, but it's not empty either. We don't know what it contains: it could be tea, tap water, or it could be pee". I am extremely lucky for the level of support I've had over the last couple of years, and it's heartbreaking to read that other users in this forum are not so lucky =(

It's good to hear that you're doing better recently =) I'm also doing much better now as I have been prescribed medicine for my depression, am talking to my therapist on a regular basis, and am taking sleeping tablets to temporarily help with my insomnia. I know that these aren't a permanent fix and that I need to find more practical solutions, but they're currently helping me. 

I don't like it when artists change their sound to fit in with the "in-crowd". The whole point of listening to them is the fact that they don't follow trends. I'll give 'Nothing Personal' a listen, thanks =)

The one thing I never got my head around was algebra and trigonometry. Why are there so many equations? I was meant to do my GCSE maths in higher tier, but the school was worried that my low scores (E/F) would bring the average scores down, so I was told to do foundation tier along with a dozen other people from the class. Foundation tier was much easier, and I managed to get a "C" =)

I'd be terrible at surviving in the wilderness, too! I am definitely much too reliant on technology. I have to play video games and listen to music to help me wind down. A couple of years ago, my phone just stopped working. I was used to going on Facebook constantly, so the inability to do so was anguishing. I needed to listen to music, so my mother lent me one of her old phones so that I could play music on that. After a few weeks, I felt no need to go on FB and haven't installed it on my new phone. I realised how toxic and anti-social it was. I watched a "social experiment" documentary on Channel 4 a year or two ago, and it was about it normally takes at least three weeks to go "cold turkey" of something. I think the programme was called '21 Days', but I'm not entirely sure. 

Thank you =) I'll try to get back into writing as soon as I'm finished with the things I'm doing currently. Doing too much at once tends to overwhelm me, and I end up not doing anything for quite a while. 

I agree: the most recent episodes of HIGNFY feel extremely strange without the audience. You can almost hear the crickets chirping when someone tells a joke. I sometimes get jokes, I sometimes don't. My main difficulty is actually figuring out what they're saying. Everything I watch has to have subtitles. I feel like I can't hear/understand them otherwise. It just sounds they're speaking in a different language. 

I will definitely give Taskmaster a go, thanks =) 

Ditto - see there’s always positives even to something as difficult as ASD. I grant it’s not always easy but I like to think it’s not all bad. I spend too much of my life researching - I’m a history geek! 

 I've just thought of something! I like researching and finding out about things.

=)

Yeah I think it would be easier. You will need to message me as your account has the default settings which doesn’t allow me to message you. My settings have been set to allow anyone to message me :) once you’ve initiated the conversation it will however let me reply I believe :) 

I think for me I love my analytical mindset and even done of my black and white thinking I find quite comforting. I think my least favourite traits relate to my social skills. 

I look forward to your message :) 

Okay, I don't mind chatting in private. It would probably be much easier =) 

I can't really think of any traits that I like, at the moment. It's difficult to know what is a trait and what isn't. I would probably get rid of the sensory difficulties. I can see when food looks delicious, but I wouldn't be able to eat them due to the smell or texture. The concentration issues would probably be my first choice, though. Imagine all of the things I'd be able to do then! Although, maybe a lot of my inability to concentrate stem from the sensory side (like unignorable sounds and textures). 

I look forward to being med-free! I think I have around 2 months left before I start being weaned off. I'll make sure that I'll use the time wisely and be productive.

=)

Fortunately my parents only ever text, my brother stays in touch via WhatsApp - so I’ve a system that works :) I may end up returning to social media sometime, but not for now. 

What your teachers said about you subs me up - but I guess I am what I am, I know my abilities and that’s what matters I guess.

By the way if it’s easier than using thus thread, feel free to send me a private message instead.   My account settings have been changed so anyone can message me :) just figured that may be slightly easier.

Heres a question... which of your traits do you like and which would you get rid of tomorrow if you had the chance?

Going med free is great but obviously only do it when it’s right for you :)  I won’t lie, it’s initially tough but once your body and head has adapted it feels good because you know you are back in control. 

That is great to hear that you're managing really well without medication =) I don't have the best willpower, but I will try to get my head together and follow my aspirations (without being too hard on myself). 

A quote that was used to describe me by various teachers throughout secondary school was: "You've got plenty in your head - the knowledge is all there. You just need to make the effort and apply yourself". Looking up other people on the spectrum's experiences, I found that a lot of other people had the same thing told to them.

Yes, that's true! The past is in the past, there's no changing it. What you can change is the now and the future. 

Social media is not healthy at all to people's mental wellbeing, no. My dad used to message us on Facebook, even though I kept saying that I don't go on it anymore. He now understands that if he wants to connect with me, he can do so through text. I use discord to chat with my friends as it's geared more towards gaming. 

=)

I totally get what you mean about customers feeling uncomfortable with a lack of eye contact. I used to work in retail but I usually tried to get into non-customer facing roles as it is where I was most comfortable. I didn’t know it was ASD then of course, I just knew what felt right and what didn’t. 

What you said about the glass half empty/ full analogy makes sense. I think we are fairly alike in this - I see myself as a realist - sometimes the realism is positive, sometimes negative but always very real, I think it’s a good way to be. I think I’m often viewed as a pessimist by others but I don’t think that’s the case - too many people are stuck in idealism and thus I think lose touch with reality.

I‘m actually off all medication now so it is possible to turn things right around. I still have spells where I’m not so good, but I’m so much better than I was - the fact I don’t need meds is testimony to that. I used to be I various meds so I think it’s quite an achievement. So I have full confidence that when the time is right you’ll manage too - it’s 90% willpower to be honest. 

I got a C in maths too (I was in higher tier) - when you consider how little I did in year 10 and 11 it’s not terrible, but I should have done better. My grades rarely reflect my ability which is frustrating as I’m naturally smart but don’t have grades that paint a fair picture of me but I try not to get too hung up on it... it’s in the past right? The future is what matters. 

I don’t use Facebook either. I use WhatsApp and that’s it. Like you I wasted too much of my life on social media and I don’t think it’s conducive to good mental wellbeing. I’m happy for people to email me, text or use WhatsApp. I don’t feel I need anything more - it works and I’m relatively laid back about people having my details - so yeah, don’t need Facebook!