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Struggling with near adult child who won't think about future!

NAS67186

Hi all, Im sure we're not the only ones who are struggling with a teenager, having already had an older child not on the spectrum go through their teens it's not exactly a surprise that this time is hard - BUT - factor in my son being on the spectrum and things are a lot more complicated! He is 18 very soon, and after cracking under the immense pressure of GCSE's and not getting grades that reflect his ability, has really not engaged with college courses or much of anything. He won't talk to us about the future and we are really needing to find him some safe places to form friendships and get some guidance on his future. We do have a younger child also on the spectrum, our son has an EHCP and we were just building a case to get one for our daughter when COVID19 hit. 

Parents

  • Friendships are key but what I’d say is at his age you need to let him find them. You said “we need to find him some safe places to form friendships” rather I’d say maybe make him aware of places but let him take the driving seat as he also needs to find Taft independence. Of course as parents you will gave concerns over safety. But at his age he won’t want to feel as though he is being treated as a child. So maybe sign post him to places - in truth given the social issues sone of us on the spectrum have, as much as it grates me to say it - online is probably the easiest starting place - there are groups on Facebook. This forum and others which provide a good starting point. The reason I say this is that in my experience, those on the spectrum often get in better with others in the spectrum due to shared experiences and outlooks. Often we struggle with neurotypical people - so autism focused sites/ groups are best i’d say. Simply plunging someone who struggles in social situations into a race to face  social setting doesn’t work much of the time. 

  • in reply to Anthony

    Wonderful insight - thank you! Do you have any specific groups that you would recommend so I can suggest to him? He isn't likely to seek them out himself.

  • in reply to NAS67186

    There is this forum which can be useful, I believe there are groups on Facebook but I don’t use social media so I don’t know specifics. But by using online mediums it won’t be as full on than groups to attend in person. 

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