Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, don't really know how to start this, Ummm....
Ok, so I was diagnosed as being on the spectrum nearly 3 years ago after actually knowing I was "different" from my peers for most of school life and work life, anxiety and depression have followed me around for a long long time I just got extremely good at hiding everything from everyone (or so I thought), I have a nephew who was diagnosed on the spectrum 10years ago so my sister has told me since I went for my diagnosis that she had an inkling I might have been on the spectrum too.
I've worked full-time ever since I left school but have recently been put on furlough because of the lockdown which has taken time to adjust to a new routine of essentially doing not a lot, I work in a physical job which also needs some mental application and not having a lot to do has really affected me mentally, some days I have no drive to get anything done or when I do have something to do I get it done so quickly that I then get frustrated that I didn't pace myself to make the task last longer therefore prolonging the time I'm active and reducing the length of time spent "stuck in my head".
I guess what I'm asking is does anyone have any advice on how to get motivated or how to avoid getting "stuck in my head" as I'm really beginning to struggle and I don't want to have to talk to my go as they are currently so overrun with everything else that's going on.
Sorry for rambling
I do not know what to say except that this lockdown has thrown a lot of us off kilter and that is because of the change. At home for me there is not a lot of change, but my ability to go for a long crive for a few hours so that I can de-stress has been denied me. I don't have to call in anywhere. Just drive to somewhere where I can sit and look at the view and eat sandwiches and come back.
It is an odd experience that you say that you have done everything as I am more of the opposite. I am ok at starting things but not that good at finishing, so I have umpteen projects and jobs half dome. My Dad was like that as well. So having done everything is an experience which I dont think I ever quite get to.
I am not able to work at the moment as each time I tried, I hit burnout, and from the pattern of the burnouts, if I tried again then I fear ending up dissabled.. So I know I need to back off and keep the stresses low.
Don't worry about rambling. I am an expert! Haha.
Getting motivated. Brings back a memory of being in my mid 20's where at the time I had been unemployed for 6 months, so I was put on a course to help look for work. There was an older lady taking the course who was probably in her mid 50's. She was a nice lady. Her job was to get us motivated. (Looking back it was not really motivation I lacked but it was other things that ended up in my motivation being hit). Anyway. During a conversation she asked when I was going to do something (E.g. apply for a certain job) and I said "When I will get a round to it" as I had quite a few to look through and also a few possibles to apply for. She said "Hang on..." and dissapeared into another room. When she came back she gave me this little laminated card disk which had the words "Round to it" printed on them. It was green. She gave me it so I now had a "Round to it".
It was funny! I was the only person I know who had a "Round to it.".
I just thought I would share that amusing thing that happened.
I am into model railways and here is a hobby where there is always more things to do. Maybe a hobby like this will help, but be warned, it is not cheap. For a while I have been considering writing a book to share ways on how to enjoy the hobby without spending lots of money as I think it is sad the direction that the hobby is heading.